How Nicholas lost his big-screen spark...

 

(Greg Kinnear or Liam Hemsworth? PICK A SIDE.)

Photo: FilmoFilia

I went to see The Last Song yesterday and I have to say, it wasn't quite as so-terrible-it's-really-kind-of-awesome as I wanted it to be. It was more where-is-the-story-going-and-why-is-miley-wearing-a-see-through-crop-top awkward.

The problem with The Last Song is that it tries to be two movies at once: the summer love story and the terminal illness tearjerker. As a result, both stories get cut short. Individually, they might have worked well (especially the second story). But together, they just seem opposing and artificial.

Nicholas Sparks' last movie, Dear John had exactly the same problem. For the first hour, the movie is dedicated to a cute, beach-side romance. In the second half, however, it becomes a different movie, dealing with heavy issues like the consequences of war and the sacrifices you must make for not-so-healthy family members. This quilt-of-emotions approach worked terribly, making both stories fall flat.

Sparks' best book-to-movie adaptations (A Walk to Remember, The Notebook), worked because they focused on one specific couple and their unique story. Yes, they ended in tragedy, but when the big death happened (cause it always does), it involved one (or both) of the members of the duo. As a result, the progression between euphoric love story and epic tissue tale felt more authentic and heartbreaking.

Nick - if you wanna make half-decent stories again, you've got to start simplifying. Go with one story and run with it. And leave the spiritual crises to Mitch Albom.

P.S. - Oh, and when you have a teen idol record a highly addictive ballad for your movie, make sure you actually have her sing it in said movie. I was waiting for my "I'm Not a Girl (Not Yet a Woman)" moment, but alas, no sparkly dice. 

Mood Music: "Gives You Hell" by Lea Michele

A perfect mash..

Every year, mix master DJ Earworm puts together an epic mash-up chronicling the year in pop music. This year's entry, awesomely titled "Blame It on the Pop", is so cool, I get goosepimples just thinking about it.

"Blame It on the Pop" features 25 Billboard hits from the past year. But you wouldn't know it. They all flow together into a what feels like one giant euphoric dance partay of a song. I particularly like how he layered the verses of "Halo" and "The Climb" over one another. It's a match made in diva heaven.

Apparently, this particular mash-up (and the year it represents) is all about getting over your problems by getting on the dancefloor. To quote Mr. Earworm himself, "[Over the past year] we’ve been through a lot, but right now we’re gonna celebrate with music and dance, and it’s gonna be ok."

So if you're feeling the post-holiday blues, just turn up your speakers and give this hot slice of awesome pie a listen. If you're anything like me, you'll just dance - and dance, and dance and dance.

Mood Music:  "Brown Eyes" by Lady Gaga

Save a horse, ride a cowboy...

Check out this priceless dialogue I overheard at a Hannah Montana: The Movie viewing yesterday.

Girl # 1: "Eww. Why does she like that cowboy? I hate his face. So gross."
Girl # 2: "ARE YOU BLIND?!"
Girl # 2: "Are you!?!"

These girls were 11.

P.S. - Perhaps I too have lost my vision, but I think this farm boy is kinda cute. He's got a blonde-Zac Efron thing going for him. Plus, I want a cowboy!

Mood Music: "Different People" by No Doubt