(Is this the future of mythical man candy?)
2009 was a bloody fangtastic year for us, fanpires (pardon my sucky puns). Every month, there seemed to be a delicious new PYB (Pretty Young Bloodsucker) to feast our eyes on.
The craze started when
Twilight's golden-eyed vamp-boy,
Edward Cullen, hit theaters last November. After millions of tweens and their moms fell for Mr. Pale and Sparkly, the media decided to bring the fang-girls some fresh blood. Enter Bill, Eric and the Southern vamps on
True Blood.
Once the vamp boys from Bon Temps became bonafide heartthrobs, the CW decided to join the 'pire party. So when the new TV season rolled around, we welcomed two new PYBs,
The Vampire Diaries' sexy Salvatore brothers, into our households and our hearts.
As more and more beautiful creatures of the night came out of their coffins and into the zeitgeist, people started to hate on them (These sad sacks often go by "Team Jacob"). They thought, and I quote, that the newly established vamp population "sucked". It was all very childish - and punny. But mostly childish.
Although I'll admit the vampboy backlash drove me completely batty at times, my love for the pale ones never died. Unfortunately, many girls (and boys) have been struggling to keep their love for the undead alive.
You see, in the past few months, another creature of the night started to work it's magic on the ladies. These new slices of mythical man candy are big, hairy and hot as hell (temperature wise, anyways). And from what I can see, they're taking over the world. Just ask Shakira.
Last summer, America's favourite Colombian yodeler revealed that she was a
"She-Wolf" in disguise. Suddenly, howling at the moon on the dancefloor (or anywhere for that matter) became really cool. Needless to say, this fang-girl started shaking in her Chuck Taylors (And occasionally, shakin' her groove thang - the song was just so doggone catchy!).
The howls got even louder when Bella's werewolf friend, Jacob Black, became the object of many tweenage girls' awkward affections in November's super successful sequel to
Twilight,
New Moon. Suddenly, everyone wanted an ripped - yet underage! - space heater of their own. I, on the other hand, just wanted Edward to come back and make things sparkly and sullen again.
A few weeks back,
EW' reported that the next season of
True Blood will include a plot line in which everyone's favourite fangbanger, Sookie Stackhouse, crushes on a hunky he-wolf named Alcide (played by Joe Manganiello a.k.a. Brad, Marshall's brunch mate from
HIMYM). I am now, and have always been, a loyal member of Team Bill. But if Sookie's starts dating a dog, I may start rooting for Eric too. And I am not into blondes.
I want to say the sudden werewolf resurgence is nothing more than an awkward phase in the fine print of the mythical man candy time line. But as far I can see, things are just going to get hairier in 2010.
Some time in the next year, MTV is turning the terribly awesome 80s movie,
Teen Wolf, into a TV show. In addition, in February, Universal Pictures is releasing a new
Wolfman movie starring Benico Del Toro (I'm so conflicted! I've had a heart-on for the Toro since
Excess Baggage!). Oh, and just a few weeks back,
Variety reported that a Hollywood is bringing a remake of the lycanthropic horror flick,
The Howling, to theaters this Halloween.
I think it's safe to say, pop culture is going to the wolves. And I for one, am not happy about it. The only werewolves I can truly tolerate are Oz and the dude from
Teen Wolf Too (Mmm, young Jason Bateman!). Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I like my sexy beasts with a little more bite.
Mood Music:
"Meet Me Halfway" by The Black Eyed Peas
