Glee gets Stoned...

Photo: Rolling Stone

I like Rolling Stone. I LOVE Glee. You'd figure I'd die for an article mixing the two, right? I thought I would too.

This week's issue of RS is in full-out Gleek-out mode, with the stars of the hit musical comedy gracing the cover and the multiple-page feature spread. The cover is actually quite fun, with Quinn, Finn, Sue, Rachel and Mr. Shue all taking on vintage modes of transport (think old school bikes, retro roller skates). The story, however, deserves a cold blue slushie in the face.

I know that RS has always tried to push the envelope and get unconventional stories from otherwise straight stars. But this one really rubbed me the wrong way.

Apparently, the rock mag asked all the Glee kids similar questions - "What was your high school life like?", "How did you get your start in the business" and of course, "Do you pee in the shower?" (I AM SERIOUS.) At one point, they even bark commands at them, yelling "Entertain us!" and getting frustrated when all they can come up with a spontaneous drum solo. They claim this was an exercise in prying some entertaining and new tidbits from the gang, but I don't know, the whole thing just felt off-the-wall creepy and presumptuous to me.

Clearly, RS wanted them to be more exciting and rock n' roll then they actually are. I'm sorry, but not all celebrities are Madonna. Some of them are just straight up boring, normal people who just happen to be on TV or on the big screen. You can't expect everyone to have some sort of wild sex-life or lewd back story. Sure, you can argue that the Glee kids could have been holding back some juicy tidbits to keep them from tarnishing the show's squeaky clean image. But it's also highly plausible that they just don't have any really scandalous stories to share.

It really made me laugh when the journalist (Erik Hedegaard) started complaining that the kids refused to talk to him after their interviews. He tries to make the conflict out like it's the personification of high school-style isolation - excluding the "different" person because they don't go with the status quo. Sorry, but I think that's just a cop out and a lame, overused motif.

Did he really expect them to welcome him with open arms after asking them whether they wear thongs or get their freak-on in bed? He seems to think he's the weird, under-appreciated Enid Wexler to Glee's popular kids, but really, he's just the weird older dude creeping on the freshmen girls - and boys. Nobody wants to see - or read about - that.

More and more, I'm realizing that all RS wants to do is manipulate a story to get some controversy - and attention. Think back to John Mayer and his extremely non-PC interview with the mag that landed him in hot water from pretty much every minority and fangirl out there. I'm not gonna defend John and say that he was manipulated - the dude could have shut his mouth - but I'm sure he wouldn't have gone to certain places had he not been prodded to do so.

I think RS thinks they are still the hard-hitting alternative music mag they once were in the 1960s and 70s. Sorry, but the we're-pretentious-music-snobs-and-you-love-it attitude really doesn't work anymore. Every time they ask these overly intrusive questions, they're just falling back on their old habits and churning out a new version of their last so-called subversive article.

I will continue to read RS for the reviews - I love you, Peter Travers! - but I doubt I will read the features any longer. If I feel like being inandated with schlock, awe and unintentional goofiness - I'll rent a Bruce Campbell movie. At least he knows when he's being ridiculous.

Mood Music: "Express Yourself" by Madonna