Marky Mark's off the market (and I'm 13 again)..

(Marky and I get cosy between the sheets. Please take note
of the tag line: "Wild Man...Child-Man...100% Hot!" )

I still can't believe this man is officially off the market. My thirteen-year-old self is totally crushed.

But even though my childhood dreams of getting between Marky Mark and his Calvins have now become a definite impossibility, I still can't stop feeling good vibrations or sweet sensations for the man. Excuse me while I whip out my Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch video tape and trivia book (Yeah, me and Marky were that serious in Grade 7) and drool all over myself.

P.S. - Where was this shirt hiding when I was in middle school? This would have saved me so many hours of nervously looking for pics of Mark in sexually suggestive poses (Hey, I was curious. And even he was obsessed with his package. The man dedicated his biography to his dick. Seriously.)

P.P.S - I would just like to point out that my obsession with everyone's favourite white rapper wasn't even in the early 90s. I started requesting "Good Vibrations" at barmitvahs (I was successful once!), in like 2001. I was that cool.

Mood Music: "Magic Dance" by David Bowie

Confessions of a Rock Star groupie...

You can argue with me until the end of time, but I will ALWAYS defend the awesomeness that is Rock Star. It's actually really entertaining - and often times even hilarious (Is that Marky Mark rapping again or am I daydreaming?) And the songs (oh the songs!) are way too amazing to belong to a fictional band. Oh, and Mark Wahlberg is a stone fox in it like usual.

If you're still not sold, watch this scene. It gives me goosebumps (and often times, a few tears) whenever I watch the movie. I totally lose it when Jennifer Aniston's character, Emily (You don't know how much my pre-teen self loved the fact that Marky Mark was repeatedly saying my name) starts to choke up. Perhaps I'm a cry baby but I love me a good reunion scene. Especially when it involves a very Eddie Vedder-esque character named Chris serenading a girl with my name with a particularly beautiful Verve Pipe song.

Chris sings, "I know I can be colorful. I know I can be grey. But this loser's living fortunate, cause I know you will love me either way." This line totally speaks to me. Because even though this movie isn't perfect, I will never stop loving it. (Cheesiness totally intended.)

Mood Music: "We All Die Young" by Steel Dragon