BREAKING News!

It's been a LOOOOOOONG time since I've updated this blog. And I feel really terrible about it.

I'd like to say I had some wicked awesome, life-changing reasons for it. But I don't. However, I do have some pretty decent, fairly important ones....

• I had an overloaded semester, which included a course load like never before (five full credit courses and one double credit one) and a hella lot of time in the campus editing suites. 
• Speaking of editing, I can now say that I, Emily Gagne, have contributed to the production of a film! I was the editor (and occasional reporter) on a short documentary on Toronto's fashion identity. We followed a young designer, Cara Cheung as she put on her first runway show.
• I slept about three hours a night during this soul-sucking time and barely had time to go watch, let alone write about whatever awesome Vh1 reality show I wanted to be streaming but couldn't. I also went a whole month without stepping foot on old popcorn and dried Pepsi-lined floors of a movie theatre. It was disgusting.
• Right after finishing this hella hard school year, I got my wisdom teeth out. Then three weeks later, I got an infection and had to get emergency surgery. I ended up in the ER that night, looking like a True Blood extra. I won't get into the gory details, but I will say my blood pressure went down to 60/30. (I'm fine now!)
• All of this hard work (well, minus the wisdom teeth stuff) resulted in me being able to graduate on time -- and surprisingly, with honours! -- alongside my Ryerson J-Skool friends! 

 (Me and Candis, my first and best friend at Rye High.)

 (Me and my Jessica Simpsons. Take that, Carrie "Formerly a Candie's Girl" Bradshaw!)

Now that I'm out of school and currently without a job (Being Winona in the middle of Reality Bites isn't nearly as romantic as I imagined it would be!), I plan on bringing this blog back to full-life. And not in some half-assed, I'll-just-turn-her-into-a-vampire thing. So to kick off this rebirth, I have two very important placenta-related notes to make....

The Were with all...

 

The rags have really been fang-girling out about Sookie and Bill's (er, Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer's) wedding recently. While I'm happy for the adorable vamp-girl duo, I can't stop thinking about Sookie's other otherworldly options. No, I'm not talking about Eric. Or any beautiful bloodsucker for that matter.To terribly paraphrase Shakira, there's a he-wolf on my conscious.

Recently, I've had my eye on True Blood's hunk of burning-ab-love that is Alcide Herveaux. I'm usually not one to run with the were-kind, but doggone it, I can't help myself this time. For one thing, unlike a certain unlikeable lycan we all know, Alcide isn't some annoyingly smiley jailbait lap dog of a dude. He's a man. Well, part-man, part-wolf. But that part that's man is ALL MAN.

But I regress, er, digress. The point is, while I love me some strictly Bill-Sook action in real-life, I think Miss Stackhouse oughta keep tabs on Alcide and his perfect bod. Sources have confirmed that the actor who plays the newest edition to Bon Temps' ever-growing supernatural society, Joe Manganiello, will be a regular come next season.  And according to this new TB preview, Alcide will make an appearance in next week's finale!

Move over Bill (and Eric - if he makes it through this season without disappearing into the Fangtasia concrete) -  looks like this he-wolf's here to stay! 

Mood Music: "Doctor Jones" by Aqua

Darling, it is no joke. This is lycanthropy.

(Is this the future of mythical man candy?)

2009 was a bloody fangtastic year for us, fanpires (pardon my sucky puns). Every month, there seemed to be a delicious new PYB (Pretty Young Bloodsucker) to feast our eyes on.

The craze started when Twilight's golden-eyed vamp-boy, Edward Cullen, hit theaters last November. After millions of tweens and their moms fell for Mr. Pale and Sparkly, the media decided to bring the fang-girls some fresh blood. Enter Bill, Eric and the Southern vamps on True Blood. 

Once the vamp boys from Bon Temps became bonafide heartthrobs, the CW decided to join the 'pire party. So when the new TV season rolled around, we welcomed two new PYBs, The Vampire Diaries' sexy Salvatore brothers, into our households and our hearts. 

As more and more beautiful creatures of the night came out of their coffins and into the zeitgeist, people started to hate on them (These sad sacks often go by "Team Jacob").  They thought, and I quote, that the newly established vamp population "sucked". It was all very childish - and punny. But mostly childish.

Although I'll admit the vampboy backlash drove me completely batty at times,  my love for the pale ones never died. Unfortunately, many girls (and boys) have been struggling to keep their love for the undead alive.

You see, in the past few months, another creature of the night started to work it's magic on the ladies. These new slices of mythical man candy are big, hairy and hot as hell (temperature wise, anyways). And from what I can see, they're taking over the world. Just ask Shakira.

Last summer, America's favourite Colombian yodeler revealed that she was a "She-Wolf" in disguise. Suddenly, howling at the moon on the dancefloor (or anywhere for that matter) became really cool. Needless to say, this fang-girl started shaking in her Chuck Taylors (And occasionally, shakin' her groove thang - the song was just so doggone catchy!). 

The howls got even louder when Bella's werewolf friend, Jacob Black, became the object of many tweenage girls' awkward affections in November's super successful sequel to Twilight, New Moon.  Suddenly, everyone wanted an ripped - yet underage! - space heater of their own. I, on the other hand, just wanted Edward to come back and make things sparkly and sullen again.

A few weeks back, EW' reported that the next season of True Blood will include a plot line in which everyone's favourite fangbanger, Sookie Stackhouse, crushes on a hunky he-wolf named Alcide (played by Joe Manganiello a.k.a. Brad, Marshall's brunch mate from HIMYM). I am now, and have always been, a loyal member of Team Bill. But if Sookie's starts dating a dog, I may start rooting for Eric too. And I am not into blondes.

I want to say the sudden werewolf resurgence is nothing more than an awkward phase in the fine print of the mythical man candy time line.  But as far I can see, things are just going to get hairier in 2010.

Some time in the next year, MTV is turning the terribly awesome 80s movie, Teen Wolf, into a TV show. In addition, in February, Universal Pictures is releasing a new Wolfman movie starring Benico Del Toro (I'm so conflicted! I've had a heart-on for the Toro since Excess Baggage!). Oh, and just a few weeks back, Variety reported that a Hollywood is bringing a remake of the lycanthropic horror flick, The Howling, to theaters this Halloween.

I think it's safe to say, pop culture is going to the wolves. And I for one, am not happy about it. The only werewolves I can truly tolerate are Oz and the dude from Teen Wolf Too (Mmm, young Jason Bateman!). Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I like my sexy beasts with a little more bite.

Mood Music: "Meet Me Halfway" by The Black Eyed Peas

The cowpoke is a vamp..

I listened to Carrie Underwood's new song "Cowboy Casanova" and I have to say, it's one catchy slice of country-pop. But I may or may not have been heavily influenced by the fact that the two of my all-time favourite words (and types of man-candy) appear multiple times in the song.

Although the song has an undeniable Southern vibe, after looking at the lyrics, I kinda feel like the hunky ranch hand Carrie sings of might be of the undead variety. Just look at the lyrics:

"He's a good time cowboy casanova,
Leanin' up against the record machine
He looks like a cool drink of water,
But he's candy-coated misery
He's the devil in disguise, a snake with blue eyes
And he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna
fight, You better run for your life"

He's a devil in disguise? He's only comes out at night? You better run for you life?! I don't know, but the boy sounds like Bill Compton's long-lost cousin to me.

All this vampy cowpoke talk reminds me of a Harlequin Romance I once spotted at Indigo. It was called Drop Dead Gorgeous and featured a nearly nude vampire cowboy in lounging in a moonlit bathtub on the cover. I haven't seen it in a store since, but I would give my left boob to get my hands on a copy. Well, maybe not. But I might give a little blood. Especially if the receiver of said plasma looks like a cold drink of water and never goes out without his cowboy hat.

P.S. - Speaking of creature of the night, is anyone else totally into The Vampire Diaries?

Mood Music: "So Far Away" by Carole King

Emmy takes on the Emmy's..

When the Emmy nominations were announced on Thursday, I was one unhappy Emmy. Once again, the awards show neglected to fulfill my always burning desire to see seriously underappeciated TV get recognition (although, really the award show's name would suggest otherwise). Pushing Daisies was nearly neglected (thank god for a Kristen Cheno nod!). NPH was denied (although he is hosting the show). The United States of Tara barely made the cut (at least they recognized Toni Collete's brilliance). And worst of all, True Blood was completely shut out (how much does that one suck!)! If this Emmy had any actual input, things would be mighty different.

But even in this haze of terrible misrepresentative judgements, I managed to find some solace in the fact that the truly awesome Jemaine Clement (a.k.a. the better half of Flight of the Conchords) got some Emmy love. And no, I'm not just talking about the overwhelming fangirly sentiments he gets from me on a regular basis - although those are at an all-time high at this moment in time.

In honor of my anger at those other Emmy peeps out there, I present Bret's angry dance montage (frustrated dance-outs are always the answer(!) - just ask my homeboy, Ren McCormack) from Flight of the Conchords. And in honor of Mr. Clement's nom, enjoy this autre fantastique samplemoose of le genius that is Jemaine and Bret.

Mood Music: "I'm Not Crying" by Flight of the Conchords