what you share when you're uncool

BREAKING News!

2011-06-16T20:29:00.003-04:00

It's been a LOOOOOOONG time since I've updated this blog. And I feel really terrible about it.

I'd like to say I had some wicked awesome, life-changing reasons for it. But I don't. However, I do have some pretty decent, fairly important ones....

I had an overloaded semester, which included a course load like never before (five full credit courses and one double credit one) and a hella lot of time in the campus editing suites.
Speaking of editing, I can now say that I, Emily Gagne, have contributed to the production of a film! I was the editor (and occasional reporter) on a short documentary on Toronto's fashion identity. We followed a young designer, Cara Cheung as she put on her first runway show.
I slept about three hours a night during this soul-sucking time and barely had time to go watch, let alone write about whatever awesome Vh1 reality show I wanted to be streaming but couldn't. I also went a whole month without stepping foot on old popcorn and dried Pepsi-lined floors of a movie theatre. It was disgusting.
Right after finishing this hella hard school year, I got my wisdom teeth out. Then three weeks later, I got an infection and had to get emergency surgery. I ended up in the ER that night, looking like a True Blood extra. I won't get into the gory details, but I will say my blood pressure went down to 60/30. (I'm fine now!)
All of this hard work (well, minus the wisdom teeth stuff) resulted in me being able to graduate on time -- and surprisingly, with honours! -- alongside my Ryerson J-Skool friends!

(Me and Candis, my first and best friend at Rye High.)

(Me and my Jessica Simpsons. Take that, Carrie "Formerly a Candie's Girl" Bradshaw!)

Now that I'm out of school and currently without a job (Being Winona in the middle of Reality Bites isn't nearly as romantic as I imagined it would be!), I plan on bringing this blog back to full-life. And not in some half-assed, I'll-just-turn-her-into-a-vampire thing. So to kick off this rebirth, I have two very important placenta-related notes to make....

1) HOW GOOD IS BORN THIS WAY!?! (Full, overly analytical post on this in the works!) I have not stopped listening to it since I drove an hour out of my way to buy it on Canada Day.

2) Did you or did you not get a bit of a Twihard-on after seeing Edward break the bed in the trailer for Breaking Dawn? (I still can't believe they're actually making this demon spawn of the otherwise uncomfortably addictive "Saga" into a movie. But I guess the first half of the book is kind of sexy, so this one shouldn't be so bad. RIGHT?!)

Until next time, which hopefully will be really super-soon times...

P.S. - For a more fangirly look at my recent life, check out my Tumblr (Punny Girl) and Twitter (@emilygagne). I'm also still posting up a storm on my female film critic blog, Cinefilles!

Mood Music: "American Girl" - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Somehow. Someday. SOMEWHERE.

2011-01-17T03:03:00.000-05:00

There’s a place for us. somewhere a place for us…or you know, NOT.

Everything about this movie looks immaculate. Which is why I can’t stand the fact that it’s only playing in one theatre in the city - not nearly close enough to my house. I’ve just got to find a way to see it this week. Or my head may explode. Or maybe implode? Yeah, that sounds more Coppolaesque.

Speaking of Sofia...I finally watched Lost in Translation! Bill was mad sexy in it. ScarJo was pretty sass too.

Mood Music: "Just Like Honey" - The Jesus and Mary Chain

Dork and Knives.

2010-11-08T21:54:00.001-05:00

Last Thursday, I girl powered up and scored what may be my sweetest interview of my precious little journalistic life. In every sense of the vague word.

With the help of my future-pro-producer-in-the-making friend, Vanessa (and some really awesome reps at Universal Pictures), I managed to get a five-minute on-camera interview with Scott Pilgrim's not-so-evil ex, Knives Chau! At a press junket! At a suite in the Hazelton Hotel! In a room next to Edgar Wright! Yeah, I'm still fangirling out.

Scarborough actress - and Ryerson RTA alum! - Ellen Wong plays the kick-ass high schooler/Ramona Flowers hater in the best movie you haven't seen: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Oh, and she's also a straight-up sweetheart. If I was a 23-year-old Toronto straight-boy hipster, I might say I was in lesbians with her.

Check out my piece on Ellen (and the film's DVD release) on the Ryersonian TV website - and spread the SP love.

P.S. - Wanna see the full, uncut interview? Look for it on RBN tomorrow!

Mood Music: "Garbage Truck" by Sex Bob-Omb

Let's do the Monster Nash.

2010-10-24T23:27:00.000-04:00

BLOODY brill.

Mood Music: "Skeleton Song" - Kate Nash

The Were with all...

2010-09-06T18:49:00.000-04:00

The rags have really been fang-girling out about Sookie and Bill's (er, Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer's) wedding recently. While I'm happy for the adorable vamp-girl duo, I can't stop thinking about Sookie's other otherworldly options. No, I'm not talking about Eric. Or any beautiful bloodsucker for that matter.To terribly paraphrase Shakira, there's a he-wolf on my conscious.

Recently, I've had my eye on True Blood's hunk of burning-ab-love that is Alcide Herveaux. I'm usually not one to run with the were-kind, but doggone it, I can't help myself this time. For one thing, unlike a certain unlikeable lycan we all know, Alcide isn't some annoyingly smiley jailbait lap dog of a dude. He's a man. Well, part-man, part-wolf. But that part that's man is ALL MAN.

But I regress, er, digress. The point is, while I love me some strictly Bill-Sook action in real-life, I think Miss Stackhouse oughta keep tabs on Alcide and his perfect bod. Sources have confirmed that the actor who plays the newest edition to Bon Temps' ever-growing supernatural society, Joe Manganiello, will be a regular come next season. And according to this new TB preview, Alcide will make an appearance in next week's finale!

Move over Bill (and Eric - if he makes it through this season without disappearing into the Fangtasia concrete) - looks like this he-wolf's here to stay!

Mood Music: "Doctor Jones" by Aqua

Bear Jew/Not even half a Jew.

2010-08-17T19:47:00.003-04:00

I lost my Ray Bans getting thisclose to Hostel/Hostel II director Eli Roth last night. Needless to say, my mom was extremely proud.

Mood Music: "O Katrina!" by The Black Lips

Carry me away!

2010-08-10T00:44:00.001-04:00

Photo: This ballin' website

BREAKER HIGH IS NOW AIRING EVERY AFTERNOON OUTTV. My PVR is already OD'ing on nostalgia. And Day-Glo backdrops.

All I can say is - na, na, na, hey, hey! And Student Bodies better be next.

Mood Music: "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry

She's a Lady.

2010-07-22T22:19:00.002-04:00

Last Monday, this Little Monster headed downtown for her second trip to the Monster Ball. She was so happy about it she could have died and gone disco heaven. So she did. Here is the photographic evidence.

Needless to say, she's still speechless.

Mood Music: "Summerboy" by Lady Gaga

Show me dance hall days, love.

2010-07-05T19:45:00.004-04:00

I think I've finally found the formula for the ultimate summer jam. CAN'T. STOP. DANCING. AROUND. MY. ROOM. AWKWARDLY.

Mood Music: "The Reeling" by Passion Pit

Team Edward (Sharpe)...

2010-06-22T02:00:00.000-04:00

I am obsessed with the Cyrus trailer.

Okay not really. Although the movie looks pretty sweet (I've loved me some awkward moments with John C. Reilly since Boogie Nights), it's song at the end of it's ad is what's really hooked me. It's this catchy semi-country, semi-folk, semi-theatrical ditty called "Home" by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros. It's basically less rockin' version of my personal White Stripes fave (behind, "Ball and Biscuit"), the weirdly wonderful "Rag and Bone."

Let's hope the movie is as awesome as this track is. And if it's not, keep your fingers crossed for The Kids Are Alright. I need me a good indie dramedy. And it wins serious points for using Vampire Weekend's "Cousins" and Madness' "Our House" in it's trailer...

Mood Music: "Blowin' Me Up (With Her Love)" by JC Chasez

Hot like Mexico. Rejoice.

2010-06-08T13:12:00.001-04:00

Gaga does it AGAIN. This time with gay latex-covered soldiers with mushroom cuts.

Mood Music: "Speechless" by Lady Gaga

If Wallflowers could talk...

2010-05-24T12:00:00.003-04:00

According to TheWrap, Stephen Chbosky is making my favourite book of all-time, The Perks of Being a Wallflower into a movie. Wait. It gets worse...

Word on the shitty adaptation street is they're getting Emma Watson to play Sam. And this lame-o to play my favourite shy guy (or me-in-boy-version), Charlie.

I feel so...NOT infinite. I think I'm gonna go listen to "Asleep" and cry into my book now.

Mood Music: "Scarborough Fair" by Simon & Garfunkel

My So-Called Family Life...

2010-05-23T22:52:00.001-04:00

"Parenthood is like Modern Family but not funny." - my 10-year-old brother, Joe

Photo: TheWrap

Joe's right. My favourite new drama is quite a lot like my favourite new comedy. But it's also a bit of every other family drama I have loved over the years. Namely, My So-called Life, which creator Jason Katims also worked on. In fact, he wrote my favourite episode of MSCL, "Life of Brian", so clearly, he just knows awesome.

Whereas MSCL focused in on one family (the Chases), which centered around introspective teen, Angela Chase (or, as I like to call her, me, with Crimson Glow), Parenthood brings you the stories of several families within one big family. There's the parents (or grandparents I suppose), their four kids (Lauren Graham, Peter Krause, Erika Christensen and the surprisingly awesome Dax Sheppard) and their kids. We get a peek at each family's unique lives and problems each week. So yes, like Modern Family, but without Al Bundy.

My whole (immediate) family is in love with this show and it's not hard to see why. It deals with real problems in a touching, relatable way. I've recommended it to several people my age and they all say the same thing, "Why would I watch that? It doesn't relate to me at all." But, you don't have to be a parent to get into the show (obviously, I'm not).

If you've ever had to deal with a parent, a sibling, a cousin or an in-law, you can identify with at least one of the story lines in the show. And if you can't, for some reason, then who cares? I mean, who always wants to watch something you know all about. Why do you think people watch fantasy movies and programs? Cause they want to explore something outside their daily lives. Think about it. No one really knows about being stranded on a hellish island and having to fight against the Others, but they still love Lost.

And hey, if my little brother can get into it, so can you.

Mood Music: "Picture to Burn" by Taylor Swift

Going blog wild...

2010-05-16T19:51:00.002-04:00

I know I've been pretty much MIA on the blog front but I've got a pretty good reason. I've been setting up a new blog with a fellow BJ gal (That's what they call us, Bachelor of Journalism students. I know. I'm still laughing about it).

The site is called Cinefilles (I betcha can't figure out who came up with that ridiculous name...) and it's an all-girl film blog featuring film reviews, DVD reviews and assorted columns (my personal favourite, which starts Monday, is Terribly Awesome - a weekly entry dedicated to celebrating a flick that is off the charts on the guilty pleasure quotient). We just launched the site this week and have several pieces up. Feel free to check em' out and let me know what you think!

P.S. - Just to clarify - I'm not deserting this blog. I just won't be posting quite as frequently. But you can always keep up with my goings on by checking out the (The Write Stuff) sidebar.

Her Madge-jesty...

2010-04-20T15:30:00.016-04:00

(We know who wears the pants in New Directions.)

Photo: Glee Images

Tonight the all-Madonna ep of Glee ("The Power of Madonna") finally airs on FOX. I don't know about you, but I am one overexcited diva lover.

I have worshiped Madge pretty much since birth. I have seen her in concert two times - and The Immaculate Collection collection is the soundtrack to pretty much every sorta-long-distance drive I take. I even wrote an essay on the holy grail of girl pop for one of my classes this semester.

In my paper, I spoke about three songs (all of which are getting the Glee treatment tonight!) - "Like a Virgin", "Express Yourself" and "What It Feels Like For a Girl" - and how they exemplify her gender-bending persona. "The Power of Madonna", on the other hand, has Mr. Shue teaching the Glee boys the important and strength of the group's girls - via The Queen of Pop's sass-tastic songbook. I guess great minds really do think alike.

I've attached a sample of my extremely fangirly essay below. The section covers the gender confused portrayal of her hit, "Express Yourself"from her Blond Ambition Tour. I figured it would only be suiting (there's a pun there, wait) because the girls will be adopting Madge's corset-pantsuit combo from the tour tonight (see above).

Let me know what you think! (Of the episode and my essay.)

"...Madonna’s love of gender bending is most prominent in her documentary, Truth or Dare, which followed the on-stage and behind the scene antics of her Blond Ambition concert tour. In a review of the 1991 film, Entertainment Weekly critic Owen Gleiberman says the various performances from the tour “reveal the roots of [Madonna’s] style” as they show that she embodies both female stereotypes (the “Good Catholic Girl”) and male personality traits (aggression and overt sexuality) simultaneously. The section of the concert footage that Gleiberman believes best expresses these consciously conflicting personas is her gender ambiguous take on her hit song “Express Yourself”.

Gleiberman calls this particular performance Madonna’s “credo” as it celebrates expressing one's beliefs in “sex, music [and] life”, even if they lie beyond the norms of society. Madonna consciously expresses her strong feelings towards gender equality during the act by playing with both masculine and feminine stereotypes, particularly in terms of costuming. Throughout the song, Madonna wears a tailored suit and holds a spectacle up to her eye. This extremely masculine outfit is offset by her girly platinum blonde curls and a gold-coloured bra, which she hides under her business attire until the second verse. Even when she is fully suited up, she has a touch of femininity peaking out. During the first verse, a garter belt can be seen hanging out from the side of her trousers.

Madonna’s vocals are similarly gender confused during the performance as they waver back and forth between girlish and high pitched on the verses to deep and drag queen-esque on the choruses. The lyrics seem more literal and stereotypical as they repeatedly refer to a woman needing a man’s love to help her achieve happiness and self-worth (she says making him express himself will help you “respect yourself”). However, Madonna also takes a feminist slant in many of the song’s lyrical sections, such as the second verse where she states that women should not settle for “second best” when it comes to their boyfriends or husbands and that they can “do much better on [their] own." By constantly encouraging her female fans to step out of the typical, subservient girlfriend/housewife role, Madonna is suggesting that gender roles and behaviors are more hypothetical than concrete and are meant to be bent shaped as men and women see fit.

Madonna further illustrates her strong sense of gender equality by consciously inserting masculine dance moves and gestures into the performance. Throughout “Express Yourself”, she and three similarly androgynous female dancers physically dominate the male performers using choreographed acts of violence and sexual assertiveness. She frequently steps on the topless, slave-like men and or pushes them to the floor. In one particularly subversive section, she pulls up one of the male dancers with one hand as she sings, “What you need is a big strong hand/To lift you to your higher ground." With this subtle move, she reverses the literal meaning of the words (the hand, originally belonging to a man) and shows that women can also wear the pinstripe pants in a relationship, and in life."

Mood Music: "Like a Prayer" by the Glee Cast

Kick me, Kate...

2010-04-16T15:15:00.001-04:00

I am the worst Kate Nash fan around.

First off, until this afternoon, I was not aware she had a CD (My Best Friend is You) coming out Tuesday. Second, and worst of all, until about five minutes ago, I had no idea she was coming to play the Mod Club at the end of this month. Thanks to my epic clueless-ness, I am now ticket-less and sad (it's sold out!)

Thank god her new video ("Do-Wah-Do") is endlessly cute (It's like Catch Me If You Can meets Jackie Brown - with choreographed dances). Otherwise, I might have to huddle in a corner and judge my totally disconnected myself.

Mood Music: "Mariella" by Kate Nash

How Nicholas lost his big-screen spark...

2010-04-15T15:30:00.006-04:00

(Greg Kinnear or Liam Hemsworth? PICK A SIDE.)

Photo: FilmoFilia

I went to see The Last Song yesterday and I have to say, it wasn't quite as so-terrible-it's-really-kind-of-awesome as I wanted it to be. It was more where-is-the-story-going-and-why-is-miley-wearing-a-see-through-crop-top awkward.

The problem with The Last Song is that it tries to be two movies at once: the summer love story and the terminal illness tearjerker. As a result, both stories get cut short. Individually, they might have worked well (especially the second story). But together, they just seem opposing and artificial.

Nicholas Sparks' last movie, Dear John had exactly the same problem. For the first hour, the movie is dedicated to a cute, beach-side romance. In the second half, however, it becomes a different movie, dealing with heavy issues like the consequences of war and the sacrifices you must make for not-so-healthy family members. This quilt-of-emotions approach worked terribly, making both stories fall flat.

Sparks' best book-to-movie adaptations (A Walk to Remember, The Notebook), worked because they focused on one specific couple and their unique story. Yes, they ended in tragedy, but when the big death happened (cause it always does), it involved one (or both) of the members of the duo. As a result, the progression between euphoric love story and epic tissue tale felt more authentic and heartbreaking.

Nick - if you wanna make half-decent stories again, you've got to start simplifying. Go with one story and run with it. And leave the spiritual crises to Mitch Albom.

P.S. - Oh, and when you have a teen idol record a highly addictive ballad for your movie, make sure you actually have her sing it in said movie. I was waiting for my "I'm Not a Girl (Not Yet a Woman)" moment, but alas, no sparkly dice.

Mood Music: "Gives You Hell" by Lea Michele

Glee gets Stoned...

2010-04-10T11:49:00.004-04:00

Photo: Rolling Stone

I like Rolling Stone. I LOVE Glee. You'd figure I'd die for an article mixing the two, right? I thought I would too.

This week's issue of RS is in full-out Gleek-out mode, with the stars of the hit musical comedy gracing the cover and the multiple-page feature spread. The cover is actually quite fun, with Quinn, Finn, Sue, Rachel and Mr. Shue all taking on vintage modes of transport (think old school bikes, retro roller skates). The story, however, deserves a cold blue slushie in the face.

I know that RS has always tried to push the envelope and get unconventional stories from otherwise straight stars. But this one really rubbed me the wrong way.

Apparently, the rock mag asked all the Glee kids similar questions - "What was your high school life like?", "How did you get your start in the business" and of course, "Do you pee in the shower?" (I AM SERIOUS.) At one point, they even bark commands at them, yelling "Entertain us!" and getting frustrated when all they can come up with a spontaneous drum solo. They claim this was an exercise in prying some entertaining and new tidbits from the gang, but I don't know, the whole thing just felt off-the-wall creepy and presumptuous to me.

Clearly, RS wanted them to be more exciting and rock n' roll then they actually are. I'm sorry, but not all celebrities are Madonna. Some of them are just straight up boring, normal people who just happen to be on TV or on the big screen. You can't expect everyone to have some sort of wild sex-life or lewd back story. Sure, you can argue that the Glee kids could have been holding back some juicy tidbits to keep them from tarnishing the show's squeaky clean image. But it's also highly plausible that they just don't have any really scandalous stories to share.

It really made me laugh when the journalist (Erik Hedegaard) started complaining that the kids refused to talk to him after their interviews. He tries to make the conflict out like it's the personification of high school-style isolation - excluding the "different" person because they don't go with the status quo. Sorry, but I think that's just a cop out and a lame, overused motif.

Did he really expect them to welcome him with open arms after asking them whether they wear thongs or get their freak-on in bed? He seems to think he's the weird, under-appreciated Enid Wexler to Glee's popular kids, but really, he's just the weird older dude creeping on the freshmen girls - and boys. Nobody wants to see - or read about - that.

More and more, I'm realizing that all RS wants to do is manipulate a story to get some controversy - and attention. Think back to John Mayer and his extremely non-PC interview with the mag that landed him in hot water from pretty much every minority and fangirl out there. I'm not gonna defend John and say that he was manipulated - the dude could have shut his mouth - but I'm sure he wouldn't have gone to certain places had he not been prodded to do so.

I think RS thinks they are still the hard-hitting alternative music mag they once were in the 1960s and 70s. Sorry, but the we're-pretentious-music-snobs-and-you-love-it attitude really doesn't work anymore. Every time they ask these overly intrusive questions, they're just falling back on their old habits and churning out a new version of their last so-called subversive article.

I will continue to read RS for the reviews - I love you, Peter Travers! - but I doubt I will read the features any longer. If I feel like being inandated with schlock, awe and unintentional goofiness - I'll rent a Bruce Campbell movie. At least he knows when he's being ridiculous.

Mood Music: "Express Yourself" by Madonna

Call girls...

2010-04-01T16:22:00.013-04:00

(Botched jobs and Diet Coke heads.)
Photo: ladygaga.com

Want to make The Best Fucking Video Ever? Grab these ingredients and follow these simple instructions. It's easier than making a dance sandwich. (I promise).

Video a la Gaga
- 2 cups of Gaga
- a hint of Beyonce
- 1 tbsp of Thelma and Louise
- a steamin' hot cup of Tarantino
- a pinch of Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle
- 1 tsp of Jailhouse (Glitter) Rock
- 1 pair of smokin' hot shades
- 2 empty cans of Diet Coke
- 1 Plenty of Fish cameo
- 2 large fuzzy dice
- a jar of poisoned honey
- as much Miracle Whip as humanly possible
- 1/5 of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Mix in large, sparkly bowl to taste. Serve as many times as humanly possible.

Mood Music: "Fooled Around and Fell in Love" by Elvin Bishop

Gleek out!

2010-03-25T09:00:00.002-04:00

THREE WEEKS LEFT.

Mood Music: "I'll Remember" by Madonna

Two Day is the greatest...

2010-03-23T20:03:00.007-04:00

I have two truly awesome pieces of news to share. First off, She & Him's new CD, Volume 2 is out today! Second, the dynamic duo is coming to the Phoenix on June 9 - and I gots myself some tickets this afternoon! Can you say study hall hula hoop party time?

Mood Music: "Don't Look Back" by She & Him

Total Eclipse of the still-beating heart...

2010-03-11T10:07:00.002-05:00

"I'll be with you - till your heart stops beating!" - Jacob Black

The trailer for the third - and my favourite - installment in the Twilight saga, Eclipse, is finally up for your fangirly viewing pleasure. I don't know about you, but I'm digging the trailer (I can't wait to see more of Dakota as Jane!)- except for the parts with new Victoria, Bryce Dallas Howard.

She's only in the clip for a second or two, but her awkward off-red wig is just too much for me. Also, her facial expession looks more sweet than scary. Maybe this is just a bad clip and she's actually super-badass in the movie - but I'm not feeling it. The movie hasn't even come out and I'm missing Rachelle already.

Mood Music: "This Woman's Work" by Maxwell

All-a-Twitter for Oscar...

2010-03-07T12:41:00.002-05:00

(The Golden Boys).

Photo: Screen Rant

THE BEST DAY OF THE YEAR HAS ARRIVED.

I would write a long-winded blog about my predictions for tonight's big show - but to be honest, I'm too busy prepping my picks for my family's official Oscar pool. Also, I'm still tired from my writing that mega-blog about the Best Pic nominees

If you want to hear my thoughts about the world's greatest award show - look me up on Twitter http://twitter.com/emilygagne) as I will most likely be updating my account all night (or until Twitter forces me to stop). Just brace yourself for hyperbolic comments about super-glamourous frocks, major love for awkwardly long acceptance speeches (calling Christoph Waltz!), major hate for everything and anything Avatar, inappropriate fangirly comments about Quentin Tarantino and Eli Roth (please, Oscar gods, sit them next to each other!), inappropriate fangirly comments about Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, explicit descriptions of my family's Best Pic-themed food (sample: we're having ice cream cones like Carl and Russell did at the end of Up!), loving dedications to the Academy's mediocre montages and shameless salutes to Colin Firth's super-sexiness.

Mood Movie: "Just Like Heaven" on W

She & Him & Love..

2010-03-03T11:21:00.007-05:00

Photo: BeatCrave

One of my favourite bands, She & Him (otherwise known as the dynamic duo that is M. Ward and the divine Miss Deschanel), is releasing a new album (Volume 2) at the end of this month and I, for one, can't wait. I loved their first CD and am seriously digging their first single off their new record, "In the Sun". Their songs are very 60s and soulful - pretty much the musical equivilant of a perfectly-fitting vintage cocktail dress. I don't know about you, but I love me a good retro-chic frock (especially on Zooey - she's been my girl-crush for years!).

Last week, the duo released a second song from their new album called "Thieves". It is actually gorgeous. I think it may even be better than "In the Sun". Listen and love.

P.S. - How adorable is the Volume 2 artwork?

Mood Music: "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here" by She & Him

Basterd-izing the Best Picture race...

2010-03-02T19:27:00.016-05:00

(The Basterds look damn sexy in gold, don't they?)

Photo: Alamo Drafthouse Cinema Blog

Every year, I tell myself (and pretty much everyone that will listen) that I am going to watch five Best Picture nominees before Oscar night. And every year, the same thing happens. I come up short a flick. So when they announced that they were going to have 10 nominees this year, my head spun in 1000 directions. If I couldn't get through 5 movies, how was I possibly going to work my way through 10?

With all this mind-mixing madness frying my movie-lovin' brain, I started to lose sight of my lifelong dream. Suddenly, I started to doubt my movie-marathoning abilities. I started to see mediocre movies. I even started to hate on the Academy. But after watching the mindless mess that was Did You Hear About The Morgans?, I made like Christian Bale and admitted the truth: I was acting like a punk.

Suddenly, I realized the new regulation was not something to be afraid of - but something to embrace. In the heat of the epiphany, I made it my personal mission to see every single movie that made it on the golden guy's hit-list. And guess what? I did it!

In honour of this awesome achievement, I have compiled a short review of each of the movies for your reading pleasure (don't worry - no major spoilers ahead!). I've also ranked them according to my personal preference. I'm sure things will go down differently when the big show starts Sunday, but I don't care. I'm not an Academy member. I'm just a movie lover. And I can't control what I love - or what I abhor completely (cough, Avatar, cough).

Here goes...

1. INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

(They killed Hitler and their fellow nominees'

chances at winning my heart!)

Photo: Filmofilia.

I have been wanting to love Quentin Tarantino for years. In fact, I thought we'd be a match made in heaven - what with our weird and wacked out taste for carefully sculpted bad-taste. But for some inexplicable reason, we never really seemed to click.

I couldn't get into Pulp Fiction. I tried to love Kill Bill but I couldn't quite get passed the long-ass second-half. I kinda loved Death Proof - but I'm not sure if that was because I actually enjoyed it or, because anything seemed better than Quentin's penis melting scene from Planet Terror at that point. This ridiculously cool cinematic joint (I feel like that's how QT's right-hand man, Samuel L.,would describe it) however, had me singing a much different tune. It went something like this: "Quentin, babe, let's run away together. We'll be awkward BFFs - forever!"

Inglorious Basterds had me at it's masterly mispelled monicker (I don't know if I'll ever be able to spell either word right again - so much for becoming a foul-mouthed journalist). But our love affair got straight up torrid after I saw Aldo Raine and his gang of Nazi- killing machines blow up the big screen last August.

Basterds is everything you could want in a movie: hilarious, suspenseful, action-packed, serious, foreign (honestly, is there a non-English language not featured in this movie?) and historically incorrect (Is that a David Bowie song I hear rockin' the movie house in Nazi-occupied France?). I would give it the golden guy just for the opening scene - which makes milk seem utterly (you don't know how much it took for me not to write udderly) terrifying. Future Supporting Actor winner, Christoph Waltz (yeah, he's that good), kills - literally and figuratively - in that scene. Hell, he rocks every scene he's in - the dude's dynamite.

I'll admit - Basterds can be a bit over-done at times (see: the Mike Myers cameo)- but that's the point. It's endlessly entertaining and it never loses it's focus (bringing justice to the Jews!) - or it's kickassness - throughout. And in my books -that's a Best Picture bingo!

P.S. - I just want to add - the Bear Jew can swing his big bat my way anytime. I mean...

2. UP IN THE AIR

(Clooney and co. fly high above the competition.)

Photo: NyDailyNews.com

I put Basterds ahead of this Jason Reitman flick because quite honestly, I enjoyed it more. But if I was actually choosing who should win the Oscar, it would beat Tarantino's masterwork to a bloody pulp. It's not that Up in the Air particularly ground-breaking in terms of shooting, acting or editing (although, it's pretty damn good). It's because of all the movies that hit the megaplexes this year, it most represents where we're at as a culture. Take away the talent - George, Jason and the truly awesome Anna Kendrick (please watch her in Camp right now) - and what you have is an emotionally charged look at the recession and what it has taken out of people. Fasten your seat belts friendlies - this is one for the ages.

3. UP / A SERIOUS MAN

(Can you say, spec-tacular studs?)

Photos: Jclauvin.com/IMDB.com

Two great movies about men with shitty set-ups and super-cool spectacles. How am I supposed to choose?

4. DISTRICT 9

(Close encounters of the throughly-awesome kind.)

Photo: IGN

This sci-fi flick was way better than I expected. The visuals alone are worth the rental. I won't say anymore than that though, because I really think you should to go into it blind. That's what I did and I was pretty much glued to the screen.

5. PRECIOUS

(This gem is a diamond in the ridiculously rough.)

Photo: Yahoo! Movies

This movie is far from precious. In fact, it's horrifying. But it's emotional and raw - and damn hard to look away from. It also gets props for giving my homegirl, Mariah Carey, the respect she deserves. (Yeah, I saw Glitter - AND LOVED IT).

6. THE HURT LOCKER

(Jeremy Renner fights the war on slow storytelling.)

Photo: IGN

Not nearly as good as I wanted it to be, Sure, the acting and cinematography were incredible - but the story didn't grab me like it should have. My parents - both war-movie lovers - left halfway in, complaining of boredom. I wouldn't say it's boring - but it's not remarkably engaging (save for one scene involving a suicide bomber). It's kind of like Jarhead - minus the naked Jake Gyllenhaal.

7. THE BLIND SIDE

(Hollywood fumbles with the feel-good

football flick formula - again.)

Photo: The Baltimore Sun

Sure, it's kind of a Hallmark card of a movie, but damn it, I was moved. I laughed. I cried. I stayed to the end credits to see all the real-life photos and recaps.

8. AN EDUCATION

(Lessons in love and lurking.)

Photo: Collider.com

I'm sorry, but I found this whole movie incredibly creepy - not to mention annoyingly predictable. Even Nick Hornby's semi-witty script couldn't suck me in. The only redeeming part is Carey Mulligan - but she won't win. So, meh.

9. AVATAR

(Either Papa Smurf filled out, or the

Blue Man Group got Rogaine. )

Photo: Shockya.com

From the minute I saw the preview for this movie, I wanted to hate it. And I did. People keep saying it's a visual triumph. I don't buy it. The background may be awesome but the Na'vi actually look like Second Life avatars. Oh, and the writing sucks. I'm trying to forget James Cameron slaved over this for more than a decade. In my mind, he's still the king of the world - just trapped forever in 1998.

And that's it for my Best Pic picks. I know the list is a little lopsided, but after writing a novella about Basterds, I decided to give you a break and get to the point. Plus, to be honest, most of these movies wouldn't make my top 10 of 2009. But that's a whole other post altogether...

What did movies you love - and love to loathe - this year?

Mood Music: "Cat People" by David Bowie

The e-mail that rocked my World...

2010-02-27T16:11:00.003-05:00

I just got an e-mail from TVShowsonDVD.com (we're close), informing me that they are finally releasing Season 4 of the show that was Friday night for me and my friends during our pre-teen years. That's right, TGIF fans - the only teen dramedy that got better when the main characters went college, Boy Meets World, is finally getting the DVD treatment it deserves!

I have never understood why ABC only released the first three seasons of Cory, Topanga and Shawn's awesome adventures through adolescence. I mean, those weren't even the best seasons. Things got really juicy when Feeny and the gang hit high school in Season 4. Just think about - that was the season Topanga cut all her hair off, Shawn and Cory turned Mr. Feeny's house into a B & B and Shawn dressed up in drag. And the show just got better after that. Season 5 introduced us to those legendary opening credits, not to mention the best episode in BMW history - "And Then There Was Shawn" - or as it might be called in Friends-speak, "The One With Jennifer Love Fefferman".

If you watched Boy Meets World then you know about "And Then There Was Shawn". It was an epic episode which veered outside BMW's the typical teenage situational dramedy curriculum and took a field trip to my favourite genre of the 90s: teen slasher flicks. The concept seemed simple enough - Cory, Topanga, Shawn and Angela get sentenced to late-night detention with Feeny. But it got scary-awesome after the lights mysteriously flickered off and the gang's classmate, Kenny got a pencil to the head (cue the timely "He killed Kenny!" jokes). The episode just got creepier (and in the mind of a certain I Know What You Did Last Summer-loving nine-year-old, cooler) from there (see: the shady janitor, the eerie music flowing out of the PA system, the hooded figure running by in the background, the random phone calls coming in from the hall payphone), but the highlight had to be the guest appearance by the scream queen of the 90s (and my tweenage idol), Jennifer Love Hewitt.

When Cory, Topanga, Shawn, Eric, Jack and Angela went into the hallway to investiage the creepy goings-on, they encountered John Adams' newest student, Jennifer Love Fefferman (also known as Feffy - which I always thought was a sly reference to that other teen drama that made 90s TV so freakin' cool - Buffy). Horror-themed hilarity and awkward Eric moments ensued - and the result was spoofy sitcom gold. I remember loving this episode so much that my friends and I would try and recreate it on the playground during lunch. While the other kids were playing soccer, tag and you know, being kids, we would hang out on the grass and pretend to be high school kids hiding from a masked murderer. I was always Feffy.

I could go on about Feeny and the divine Miss Fefferman for days - but I won't. Just watch the episode and feel the 90s love for yourself.

*Photo - Boy Meets World DVD*

Mood Music: Sabrina the Teenage Witch - The Album (Yep, I TGIF-ing love 90s nostalgia.)

This dress is my (So-Called) life!

2010-02-22T00:22:00.002-05:00

This ModCloth dress makes me want to crack open a fresh box of Crimson Glow, bolt over to the parking lot of Let's Bolt, over-think my decisions and moon over Jordan Catalano's so-beautiful-it-hurts-to-look-at-him leaning abilties.

DO YA LOVE IT?!

Mood Music: "Everybody Hurts" by REM

Meet my valentine: Mr. Mayer...

2010-02-16T01:49:00.006-05:00

(With his hair short and shaggy and his vest looking all plaid
and nerdy, John stole my heart before I ever heard a thing.)

While millions of couples were off getting mushy over shared desserts at various over-priced bistros last night, I had hot date with John Mayer.

John was a perfect gentleman throughout the evening, keeping the conversation light and genuine and the tunes smooth and sweet. I'm pretty sure we had some eye-relations a few times and he almost gave me a carnation. I think I'm in love (again).

Mood Music: "Assassin" by John Mayer

My big TV(Guide.ca) debut!

2010-02-06T00:42:00.005-05:00

Michael Ausiello better watch his back. There's a new TV nerd taking the web by storm - and her name is Emily Gagne.

This week I wrote two (!) articles for TVGuide.ca. The first one was a recap of Wednesday's American Idol and was posted on Thursday. The second was a review of the most recent episode of The Vampire Diaries. It went up early this morning.

I am very proud of both of these pieces (I may have worked a little too hard on them - shocking, I know) and I cannot wait to add them to my portfolio. Especially the VD one.

I know I may not actually be taking the web by storm with these articles but after a few hours of stringing together too many vampy puns for my own good, I did manage to artifically link my name to the Salvatore bros. Can you say, bloody brilliant? (Here I go again...)

If you are interested in reading either article, head over to TVGuide.ca and look me up! Or, if you are a lazy bum you can just click here (for Idol) or here (for VD). You're welcome.

P.S. - Please feel free to comment on the reviews - either via this site or the comments section on TVGuide. I'd love some constructive criticism!

Mood Music: "Merry Happy" by Kate Nash

Dear John...

2010-02-01T00:09:00.003-05:00

My mom: "I think you need to find a boy like that Harley guy from It's Complicated."

Me: "You and me both, Mom. You and me both."

(All photos JohnKrasinski.net)

Mood Music: "Sugar Town" by Zooey Deschanel

A perfect mash..

2010-01-12T00:05:00.003-05:00

Every year, mix master DJ Earworm puts together an epic mash-up chronicling the year in pop music. This year's entry, awesomely titled "Blame It on the Pop", is so cool, I get goosepimples just thinking about it.

"Blame It on the Pop" features 25 Billboard hits from the past year. But you wouldn't know it. They all flow together into a what feels like one giant euphoric dance partay of a song. I particularly like how he layered the verses of "Halo" and "The Climb" over one another. It's a match made in diva heaven.

Apparently, this particular mash-up (and the year it represents) is all about getting over your problems by getting on the dancefloor. To quote Mr. Earworm himself, "[Over the past year] we’ve been through a lot, but right now we’re gonna celebrate with music and dance, and it’s gonna be ok."

So if you're feeling the post-holiday blues, just turn up your speakers and give this hot slice of awesome pie a listen. If you're anything like me, you'll just dance - and dance, and dance and dance.

Mood Music: "Brown Eyes" by Lady Gaga

Darling, it is no joke. This is lycanthropy.

2010-01-01T22:46:00.004-05:00

(Is this the future of mythical man candy?)

2009 was a bloody fangtastic year for us, fanpires (pardon my sucky puns). Every month, there seemed to be a delicious new PYB (Pretty Young Bloodsucker) to feast our eyes on.

The craze started when Twilight's golden-eyed vamp-boy, Edward Cullen, hit theaters last November. After millions of tweens and their moms fell for Mr. Pale and Sparkly, the media decided to bring the fang-girls some fresh blood. Enter Bill, Eric and the Southern vamps on True Blood.

Once the vamp boys from Bon Temps became bonafide heartthrobs, the CW decided to join the 'pire party. So when the new TV season rolled around, we welcomed two new PYBs, The Vampire Diaries' sexy Salvatore brothers, into our households and our hearts.

As more and more beautiful creatures of the night came out of their coffins and into the zeitgeist, people started to hate on them (These sad sacks often go by "Team Jacob"). They thought, and I quote, that the newly established vamp population "sucked". It was all very childish - and punny. But mostly childish.

Although I'll admit the vampboy backlash drove me completely batty at times, my love for the pale ones never died. Unfortunately, many girls (and boys) have been struggling to keep their love for the undead alive.

You see, in the past few months, another creature of the night started to work it's magic on the ladies. These new slices of mythical man candy are big, hairy and hot as hell (temperature wise, anyways). And from what I can see, they're taking over the world. Just ask Shakira.

Last summer, America's favourite Colombian yodeler revealed that she was a "She-Wolf" in disguise. Suddenly, howling at the moon on the dancefloor (or anywhere for that matter) became really cool. Needless to say, this fang-girl started shaking in her Chuck Taylors (And occasionally, shakin' her groove thang - the song was just so doggone catchy!).

The howls got even louder when Bella's werewolf friend, Jacob Black, became the object of many tweenage girls' awkward affections in November's super successful sequel to Twilight, New Moon. Suddenly, everyone wanted an ripped - yet underage! - space heater of their own. I, on the other hand, just wanted Edward to come back and make things sparkly and sullen again.

A few weeks back, EW' reported that the next season of True Blood will include a plot line in which everyone's favourite fangbanger, Sookie Stackhouse, crushes on a hunky he-wolf named Alcide (played by Joe Manganiello a.k.a. Brad, Marshall's brunch mate from HIMYM). I am now, and have always been, a loyal member of Team Bill. But if Sookie's starts dating a dog, I may start rooting for Eric too. And I am not into blondes.

I want to say the sudden werewolf resurgence is nothing more than an awkward phase in the fine print of the mythical man candy time line. But as far I can see, things are just going to get hairier in 2010.

Some time in the next year, MTV is turning the terribly awesome 80s movie, Teen Wolf, into a TV show. In addition, in February, Universal Pictures is releasing a new Wolfman movie starring Benico Del Toro (I'm so conflicted! I've had a heart-on for the Toro since Excess Baggage!). Oh, and just a few weeks back, Variety reported that a Hollywood is bringing a remake of the lycanthropic horror flick, The Howling, to theaters this Halloween.

I think it's safe to say, pop culture is going to the wolves. And I for one, am not happy about it. The only werewolves I can truly tolerate are Oz and the dude from Teen Wolf Too (Mmm, young Jason Bateman!). Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I like my sexy beasts with a little more bite.

Mood Music: "Meet Me Halfway" by The Black Eyed Peas

A Bang on look at 2009...

2009-12-31T13:42:00.002-05:00

(Sheldon, Penny and Wolowitz do Jon, Kate and their camera man.)

(Penny, I'm a let you finish. But Koothrappali made one of the best Kanyes of all time!)

(Team Leonard, or Team Sheldon?)

(Forget physics. Leonard's real dream is to become a middle aged spinster/YouTube sensation.)

As 2009 comes to a close tonight, you are probably getting all dolled up and prepping for some lavish NYE partay. I'm planning on celebrating the end of the year (and the decade!) less decadently (I'll be home with some great food, family and DVDs), but I thought it would be fun to end my year of bloggerdom with more of a bang. A Big Bang, that is.

Ladies and gents, I bring you the cast of The Big Bang Theory recreating some of the most awesome pop cultural moments of 2009. Happy nerd year!

*All photos from EW*

Mood Music: "Dance in the Dark" by Lady Gaga

Bub-licious!

2009-12-22T02:09:00.006-05:00

They're dorky. They're dreamy (I'm talkin' to you, Emile Hirsch-y lead boy on "Sweet Caroline'!). They love sweater vests. They dig Styx. They understand the fine art of interpretive dance. And they sing acapella!

Meet my new boyfriends, the amazingly adorkable Beelzebubs.

P.S. - It's official, I'm transferring to Tufts.

Mood Music: "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Glee Cast

Sex and Scranton, PA...

2009-12-20T12:14:00.001-05:00

(Photo: iVillage)

If you are an Office fan, prepare to die of awkward moment overload.

This music video featuring Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling), Erin Hannon (Ellie Kemper), Ryan Howard (BJ Novak) and my boyfriend, Andy Bernard (Ed Helms), as faux pop music super-group, Subtle Sexuality, is Dunder Mifflin at it's uncomfortably-awesome best. The Nard Dog is particularly ridonk, getting his acapella-rapping on while rocking an old sweatshirt around his waist. I also love the awesome elevator dance party at the end. Who wouldn't want to get down to some SubSex grooves while heading up to work?

I don't know about you, but if SubSex were a legit band, I'd be all over them. They appeal to my taste for catchy electro-pop and my need for ridiculous deadpan comedy. They're like a co-ed Flight of the Conchords. Only sexier. But in a subtle way.

Mood Music: "Bitches Ain't Shit" by Ben Folds

Zooey and Joe steal my heart - again!

2009-12-14T15:44:00.001-05:00

I didn't think I'd ever be able to say this, but this retro dance routine to She & Him's already irresistable "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?" is even better than Tom's post-coital Hall & Oates lip sync party.

Zooey, I know you're married to that guy from Death Cab and all, but I think you should reconsider that union. You and Joe are the most adorkable fake couple I've ever seen.

P.S. - (500) Days of Summer needs to be on DVD right now.

Mood Music: "Two Weeks" by Grizzly Bear

Christmas time is here...

2009-12-13T23:30:00.003-05:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year again. It's time for advent calendars. It's time for excessive peppermint ingestion. It's time for milk and cookies. It's time for red and green to briefly remain an acceptable color combo. It's time to break out your Christmas Vacation DVD. It's time for egg nog and festive hob nobs. And most importantly, it's time for Christmas music.

I know. After getting invaded by terrible Christmas crooning at the malls (they always pick the worst ones to play at department stores), sometimes it's hard to remember how awesome Yuletide songs can be. But when they're good, they're golden.

Here are 12 of my favourite Christmas songs - one for each day of Christmas.

1. "Christmas Time is Here" - Charlie Brown

Classic. Classic. Classic.

2. "White Christmas" - Otis Redding

This song has been done a million times, but nobody does it like Otis. He makes it so soulful it hurts. Gorgeous.

3. "Baby It's Cold Outside" - Zooey Deschanel and Leon Redbone (from the Elf soundtrack)

This is why I fell in love with Miss Deschanel. (P.S. - She & Him are releasing a sequel to "Volume 1"! They better tour.)

4. "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" - U2

I don't know about you, but I like my Christmas with a side of rock n' roll and an extra helping of yearning.

5. "Little Saint Nick" - The Beach Boys

This song is the definition of holiday cheer.

6. "All I Want for Christmas Is You" - Olivia Olsen

I love Mariah's original but this one wins because it was in the best festive movie of the times, "Love, Actually".

7. "Christmas Wrapping" - The Waitresses

This one gets my vote for so many reasons, but mostly because it indulges in the fine art of the pun right from the get go.

8. "Sleigh Ride" - Harry Connick Jr.

Under Harry's guidance, sleigh bells become mighty saxxy. I love.

9. "Last Christmas" - Wham!

An 80s Christmas classic by a gay icon? Yes, please.

10. "What's This" - Jack Skellington

The sights, the sounds! They're everywhere and all around! I've never felt so good - before! This empty place inside of me is filling up. I simply cannot get enough. I want it, oh, I want it. Oh, I want it for my own. I've got to know. I've got to know! What is this place that I have found? What is this?

11. "Fairytale of New York" - The Pogues

A little bit folky. A little bit rock n' roll. A little bit rude. All around wonderful.

12. "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" - Judy Garland

After that saucy Saint Nick tune, you'll want to amp up the class again. And who knows classy better than Judy?

Mood Music: "Last Christmas" - Glee Cast

Bitch, please!: Why I love Sue Sylvester like a sister..

2009-12-10T01:12:00.005-05:00

(Photo: EW)

Sue Sylvester is a raging bitch. And that is exactly why I worship her.

If you haven't been watching Glee, you need to, just to hear Sue (played by the immaculate Jane Lynch) say some of the most wildly inappropriate things ever. In essence, she's like a tall, blond version of Sarah Silverman - if Sarah had a serious penchant for track suits and schadenfreude.

To give you a taste of her deliciously acerbic wit, I've compiled a list of the most offensive and classy pearls of Sue wisdom.

Sue on the the Glee's sexy take on "Push It": 'That was the most offensive thing I've seen in 20 years of teaching — and that includes an elementary school production of Hair.''

Sue on inspiring students: ''I'm all about empowerment. I empower my Cheerios to live in a state of constant fear by creating an environment of irrational, random terror.''

Sue on getting tired during cheerleading practice: ''You think this was hard? Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told they're going in another direction. That was hard.'', "You think this is hard? I'm living with Hepatitis. That's hard!" and "You think this is hard? Try being waterboarded, that's hard"

Sue - in mid-hug with her enemy, Will Scheuster: ''I am about to vomit down your back.''

Sue on babies: ''I always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness.'', ''Me, I never wanted kids — don't have the time, don't have the uterus.''

Sue on guys with wavy locks: ''I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help picturing small birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and I find it disgusting.''

Sue on the birds and the bees: "I, for one, think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once, and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling''

Sue threatening Will (this may be my favourite): ''...I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your house...and punch you in the face.''

Sue on body image: "All I want is just one day a year when I'm not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties."

Sue on sensitivity: "This year, I got myself a bit of an eye lift. While they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn't using them."

Sue on the McKinley High production of Chicago: "When I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused. And then furious."

Sue on recycling: "Not everybody will have the balls to take a pro-littering stance. But I will not rest until our streets are littered with garbage. That's why I pay taxes, so the garbage men can buy tacos for their family."

Sue on the homeless: "I'll often yell at homeless people: 'Hey, how is that homelessness working out for you? Try not being homeless for once.'"

And that's life as Sue C's it! Do ya love it?

Mood Music: "Don't Rain On My Parade" by Lea Michele (Can't. Stop. Listening.)

"Jump" in!

2009-12-06T12:34:00.002-05:00

I really need to work on my History of Journalism essay that is due Wednesday. But this video is SO much more entertaining. If I didn't have a bunch of DVDs scattered all over my bed, I'd be jumping all over it right now.

I still can't believe that there's only one new Glee episode left until the dreaded three-month hiatus. I don't know what I'm going to do without my weekly musical-interlude fix. I really hope I don't start lurking on those excessive Glee fan pages. If I start making terrible mash-up videos or writing Rachel/Finn/Kurt fanfiction, please channel your inner 80s Cher and slap me dramatically across the face. Or you know, just break out into some sort of 90s pop song. Either one should wake me up. At least for an hour.

P.S. - How much do you love that Artie holds up a sign that says "JUMP"? It kills me every time.

Mood Music: "Don't Make Me Over" by Amber Riley

I Heart John Mayer...

2009-11-30T00:54:00.003-05:00

"Half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring. And half of my heart is the part of a man who's never really loved anything..."

My fav sorta-sensitive-sorta-sarcastic-guitar-wielding-man-whore is back! If you haven't listened to John Mayer's new album, Battle Studies, get on it! It's not quite Continuum, but it's still pretty damn delicious.

Two of my top picks from the album are "Half of My Heart" (featuring Taylor Swift!) and "Heartbreak Warfare". They're folksy and dreamy and yummy and best served with a cup of peppermint tea. I was lucky enough to see Mr. Mayer do them both live on Tuesday night at his Sound Academy show but they are just as awesome on the album. So take a listen. If you're like me, you'll get a serious heart-on. Pun intended and awkward innuendo intended.

Mood Music: "Tell Me Why" by Taylor Swift

Gaga ooh la la!

2009-11-29T17:53:00.004-05:00

The Gaga concert last night has left me speechless (so speechless!). So in lieu of my lack of words, I give you some of the photos I snagged of the Lady in action.

Jealous? I think so.

Mood Music: "Alejandro" by Lady Gaga

Get your Freak on!

2009-11-22T01:20:00.005-05:00

(I don't like this book. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!)

Last Saturday night, I made the unfortunate transition from teen to twenty-something (I can't buy Teen Vogue without feeling guilty anymore!). Although I was sad to say goodbye to my teen years, my day was anything but upsetting.

Over the course of the weekend, I received quite the assortment of awesome from my friends and family. Every single present I got appealed to my love of campy and so-cool-they're-uncool pop culture fixations. The sweet swag included Whedonverse delights (a new Buffy season 8 comic, Firefly: The Complete Series and a copy of Serenity), Michael Cera DVDs, HSM accesories (Cause everyone needs a singing Troy Bolton pen!), New Moon merch and totally rad vintage NKOTB books.

Although I was gaga for everything I got, one present truly set my fangirl side ablaze. Ladies and gents, say hello to the Holy Grail of TV DVDs, the Freaks and Geeks: Yearbook Edition.

P.S. - Can I just say that I've looked at this McKinley High (Sound familiar? McKinley High is also the name of the school in Glee!) yearbook more times in the last week than I've looked at any of my own yearbooks in, well, ever?

Mood Music: "Possibility" by Lykke Li

Jason Segel is just Swell.

2009-11-20T19:33:00.004-05:00

Die. Die. Die. (I just did - 27 times.)

Just when I thought it was impossible for me to love this adorkably tall slice of man-candy (he's cuddly, bitch!) and his sweetly self-depricating sense of humour any more (seriously, where do you go once you've done a Dracula musical, a karaoked out spoken word tribute to Styx and a series of musical photo montages about everything from Chinese take-out mishaps to cat funerals?) Jason Segel decides to whip out (yeah, I did) another random and ridiculously delicious sing-song at - get this! - a Swell Season concert! (You know I'm excited when I start writing ridiculously long run-on sentences.)

If this news is not enough to make you want to belt out your favourite 80s pop-rock ballad and declare, "Jason, I just want to hold you!", I don't know what is. And there's even more deliciousness! My future hubby used the song as a way to broadcast his phone number to all the ladies looking to get a piece of the Segel. You know I've thought about calling it. A lot.

While I died throughout the entire song (there was just too many junk-themed jingles to handle), there was one part of the video that got me particularly excited (No, not in that way. I think.). At one point, Jason sings:

"Remember when I was in that show, Freaks and Geeks? Well there were no special effects - no, no special effects - So if you thought I was sweet, yeah well I'm really that sweet."

Although I have to say, I love every single inch (I swear, I'm not trying to be inappropriate!) of Mr. Segel's body of work (Okay, I lied.), Nick Andopolis and his 29 piece drum-kit rock my world. I have always thought he was sweet, and so if he's really that sweet, you better believe I'll be all over that tall drink of water in a heartbeat.
In case you haven't picked up on how much I'm geeking out right now, just look at the list of blog titles that immediately popped into my head after I finished watching this video.

Once more with Nick Andopolis

The Best Song Ever.

Jason, I got your number. I'm gonna make you mine! Jason, don't change your number. (315-329-6673!)

The Segel Season

Falling (not so) slowly for Jason Segel

Fucking Jason Segel: The Musical

Too much?! Just wait for my musically themed photo montage covering the process. It's called Segel. I love you. Call me. and it's better than Charades.

Mood Music: "I'll Stand By You" by Corey Moniteth

An Education gets an A (in awkwardness)...

2009-11-17T21:55:00.022-05:00

On Monday, my history prof asked if anyone had seen the movie, An Education. I eagerly put my hand up but no one else wanted to join the party. He asked me if I liked it, and I said it was creepy. He looked at me as if I had two heads and told the class, "Don't listen to her! It's a wonderful movie" While my prof and many critics seemed to have been charmed by the sorta-cute-sorta-totally-creepy flick, I'm can't say I'd give the Nick Hornby tale (I gave the man my heart with High Fidelity and About a Boy, and he gives me this?) a top grade. Except, maybe in utter sketchiness.

An Education seems like a text-book example of a movie I'd love. The story follows Jenny (played by Carey Mulligan), a Brit teen who dreams of living the life of an intellectual at Oxford. She's book smart, speaking French at the drop of a hat and referencing Camus over after school snacks, but she's yet to really get out in the social world. Enter, David, a charming man (played by the strangely off-putting Peter Sarsgaard). He takes her to clubs, buys her expensive perfume, showers her with flowers, whisks her to Paris and wins over her parents. I know, sounds like a cute coming-of-age flick right? It's not.

You see, David, is 30 and Jenny is 16. Perhaps I'm more conservative than I thought, but this particular May-December romance really weirded me out. I'm talking, I-was-squirming-in-my-seat weirded out. I love me some Sarsgaard, but the man just came out as a sketchy creeper from beginning to end for me. Whenever he and Jenny had a sensual moment, it got really uncomfortable for me - most notably when he suggests jokingly (I hope) that she try having sex with a banana before they actually do the deed (I'm serious).

It doesn'thelp that Jenny looks young. The older-man-beds-virginal-girl shtick (eww) might have worked better if Mulligan looked like most other girls in teen flicks, at least 24. But unlike those other too-mature-to-be-in-high-school stars, she looks like the 16-year-old she's supposed to be playing. And apparently, that's okay, because no one in the movie or in my theatre seemed to be as uncomfortable as I was with her relationship with David. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but a grown man should not be flirting with, let alone fondling, a girl who is still in high school. I don't care how mature she is mentally. It's just weird.

I'm sure people could argue that the whole scenario fits the time period, where parents would accept any suitor, young or old, who would marry and take care of their daughter. While I respect the director's efforts to preserve the decade's morals and mentalities, I still can't think of the movie without feeling slightly icky. I don't know if that will ever change.

Despite all my grumblings about the awkward love story, I have to say there were quite a few parts of An Education that I absolutely loved. For instance, the costumes were beautiful. Even when Jenny was supposed to be looking dowdy, she looked radiant, rocking an endless array of cute floral empire-waisted dresses and perfectly quaffed bee-hive dos. Her style reminded me of my favourite retro-styled ladies, Zooey Deschanel and Kate Nash. If you are like Mad Men simply because of the delicious vintage frocks Peggy and Joan wear, you will love this movie.

Even if she didn't look ridiculously cute, I would have loved Jenny, simply because Mulligan is fantastic. She's in her 20s but she convinced me that she was an innocent and impressionable cello-playing teacher's pet. She really does a great job of expressing the emotional roller coaster of being a teenage girl. One minute she's all smiles and the next, she's bawling her eyes out. I'm sure she'll be a contender for the golden guy come February.

Mood Music: "Rosyln" by Bon Iver & St. Vincent

Creature of the Night Moves..

2009-11-08T21:16:00.010-05:00

(Photo: Hot Topic)

I'd let this beautifully broody trench-coat rockin' and wife-beater wearin' creature of the night into my personal space any day! (That's what Buffy said - until they had serious smoochies and he went all evil Angelus and you know, killed Ms. Calendar, tortured Giles and almost sucked the world into a hell dimension and stuff.)

P.S. - Please forgive my rando Angel heart-on. I stumbled upon this fangtastic (it never gets old) tee while surfing for New Moon merch (see: last post) and almost died of Whedonverse-wonderful overload. After I composed myself, I decided I had to share.

Also, I'm considering giving Angel a try again so I thought it seemed like a semi-topical choice for the bloggy. I never liked the show much because it rarely featured the original scoobies (Cordy and Wesley do not count in my books!). But I love the vamp-boy so much that I feel like I should make more of an effort. Bill and Edward eat your hearts out! (Don't actually though. I know you like blood and all that fleshy jazz but, there's no need to get the fangs out and commit vampicide. The fangirls need you.)

Mood Music: "Everything You've Done is Wrong" by Sloan

Twi-Hard 2: The return of Obsessive Cullen Disorder...

2009-11-04T21:39:00.013-05:00

(Edward Cullen, meet Edward Pumpkin.)

Watch out Team Jacob! This fiercely dedicated Cullen enthusiast has started to descend into excessively fang-irly territory once again.

The transformation is a slow one, but there's no denying that the change has begun. Just look at these startling developments:

1) This Halloween, my pumpkin looked strangely like Robert Pattinson - minus the CGI sparkles. (See above)

2) Last week, I suddenly felt an urge to buy a t-shirt with red lips and fangs on it. I said it was part of my Buffy the Vampire Slayer Halloween costume. But have you ever really seen the Buffster wearing a pro-vamp tee?

3) I have started to spend an overwhelming amount of time perusing Hottopic.com.

4) The most recently played list on my iTunes has been overtaken by Paramore, Muse and Death Cab for Cutie.

5) At Indigo the other day, it took me much longer than it should have to decide not to buy Twilight Scene It.

6) I spend more time looking at my Cullen family bookmark then I do reading my books for school.

7) I almost ditched my Halloween party plans to go and pose with a cardboard cut out of Edward Cullen.

8) I just bought my ticket to the midnight screening of New Moon. The movie doesn't come out for three weeks.

And this is just the beginning. I'm no Alice, but I can see many more sucky puns, bloody excessive amounts memorabilia and inhuman tweeny bopper squeals in my future. I think it's safe to say, New Moon is my life now.

Mood Music: "Satellite Heart" by Anya Marina

Wild Things, you make my heart sing..

2009-10-25T18:21:00.007-04:00

I finally got to see the Spike Jones version of Where the Wild Things Are this weekend. And to paraphrase one of my favourite Wild Things, I could have eaten up, I loved it so!

I can't pinpoint the exact moment or thing that made me fall for this beautiful movie because honestly, there is so much that is right about it. Karen O's soundtrack is goosebump-enducing(Please, listen to it now!). The landscape that provides the backdrop for Max's adventure is beyond epic. The monsters, or rather, Max's wild friends, are so real-looking it's out of control. Max Records' performance as the king of the Wild Things is almost too perfect (How old is this boy?! He conveyed so much emotion in this movie, sometimes I forgot he was just a kid!) And the story, oh, the story, is just the most heartbreakingly bittersweet and beautiful thing I have seen in a long time (I am tearing up just thinking about it).

From the minute the Warner Brothers logo appeared wonderfully vandalized by Max's wild drawings during the opening credits, Where the Wild Things Are just stole my heart. And if you still have a childhood innocence buried somewhere within your supposedly grown-up soul, it will steal yours away too. At least for a few hours. And you know what, that's enough. Because when it comes down to it, we're all like little Max, with his raggidy old wolf suit and makeshift crown. Sometimes we just need to get away from the harsh realities of life for a while and get a little wild.

Mood Music: "Hideaway" by Karen O and the Kids

How My Totally Adorkable Boyfriend Met My Other Totally Adorkable Boyfriend..

2009-10-13T18:52:00.013-04:00

(PHOTOS: Jason Segel Source)

And they say sexy dreams can't come true! The only thing missing is me taking the place of the lucky bastard in the burnt orange polo. Oh, and a little Barry White.

Mood Music: "Two Tickets to Paradise" by Eddie Money

How do you like my Body (of work)?

2009-10-12T15:04:00.015-04:00

My review of Jennifer's Body is now up on McClung's so please, ch-ch-check it out!

If you like my bloggy, and you think it's sexy, c'mon baby let me know - via either the comments section here or below my article. If you're not feeling it, well, be nice. And if you must use harsh words (like let's say a terrible term such as "moist", although I really hope you can't find a way to fit that in your review), just make sure they're fancy-sounding. I am easily distracted by awesome words I don't know.

Mood Music: "Reminiscing" by Little River Band

The cowpoke is a vamp..

2009-10-06T18:03:00.015-04:00

I listened to Carrie Underwood's new song "Cowboy Casanova" and I have to say, it's one catchy slice of country-pop. But I may or may not have been heavily influenced by the fact that the two of my all-time favourite words (and types of man-candy) appear multiple times in the song.

Although the song has an undeniable Southern vibe, after looking at the lyrics, I kinda feel like the hunky ranch hand Carrie sings of might be of the undead variety. Just look at the lyrics:

"He's a good time cowboy casanova,
Leanin' up against the record machine
He looks like a cool drink of water,
But he's candy-coated misery
He's the devil in disguise, a snake with blue eyes
And he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna
fight, You better run for your life"

He's a devil in disguise? He's only comes out at night? You better run for you life?! I don't know, but the boy sounds like Bill Compton's long-lost cousin to me.

All this vampy cowpoke talk reminds me of a Harlequin Romance I once spotted at Indigo. It was called Drop Dead Gorgeous and featured a nearly nude vampire cowboy in lounging in a moonlit bathtub on the cover. I haven't seen it in a store since, but I would give my left boob to get my hands on a copy. Well, maybe not. But I might give a little blood. Especially if the receiver of said plasma looks like a cold drink of water and never goes out without his cowboy hat.

P.S. - Speaking of creature of the night, is anyone else totally into The Vampire Diaries?

Mood Music: "So Far Away" by Carole King

Creek love..

2009-10-05T19:40:00.003-04:00

Dear Mr. Leery,

I've been avoiding this attraction for years. I should have admitted it back in my grade 11 media studies class, where I played you in a impromptu reenactment of the final scene of the pilot episode of your show. But I refused because my friend Sara joked that I looked exactly like you. And quite frankly, being a girl, I was kinda offended. However, after 4 years I've finally come clean. Dawson, you and I would make the perfect couple.

You're a film nerd. I'm a film nerd. You've got an unhealthy thing for E.T. I've got an unhealthy thing for E.T. You're emotional and needy. I'm emotionally needy. You love sweater vests. I love boys in sweater vests. You're horribly introspective. I'm horribly introspective (I think..). You relate every bit of your life to a scene in a movie (only you - and I - would think to play a prank on obnoxious ferry boat riders using techniques perfected in American Graffiti). I relate every bit of my life to a scene in a movie. You work at a video store. I wish I worked at a video store. You have sandy blonde locks. I have chemically altered sandy blonde locks. You'd rather spend the night watching movies in your bed than hit up a house party. I'd rather spend the night watching movies in your bed than hit up a house party. You fall for the people who don't fall for you. I always fall for the people who don't fall for me. You tend to get a little too spirited at Halloween. I always get a little two-spirited on Halloween (see all my previous manly costumes: Kevin Federline, Garth Algar, Peter Pan). You like to use fancy words to spice up a convo and make yourself seem like an intellectual. I like to use the word "fancy".

Dawson, if we're not made for each other, then I don't know who is. Forget Joey. Come elope with me in Atlantic City (I'm saving Vegas for the 21st b-day)! I know I'm being a bit forward here, but you know us better than anyone, and we don't seem to get anywhere with the opposite sex without taking a few risks. So stop over-thinking this and answer me as soon as possible. Cause quite frankly, I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over. I wanna know right now what will it be. Will it be yes, or will it be, sorry?

XOXO,

Emily

Mood Music: "Dance Anthem of the 80s" by Regina Spektor

Bang on!

2009-10-04T14:42:00.008-04:00

(Oh, geek love. Photo: fanpop.)

After a year or so of brushing it off as Two and Half Men go geek, I decided to give in and give the first season of The Big Bang Theory a go this weekend.

Having been very anti-BBT for quite some time, I did not make this decision on a whim. In the spirit of the show's science-loving characters, my choice was a result of weeks of careful research (mostly just reading reviews and asking people what they thought of it). Well, that and season 2 of Flight of the Conchords was already out at Videoflicks on Friday and I had a jonesin' for a giggle.

At first, I was hesitant to laugh at Leonard and Sheldon's geektastic adventures, afraid that I might actually like this more than it's partner in Monday night half-hour hilarity, How I Met Your Mother. But as I kept playing episode after episode, I began to warm up to the nerds. Eventually, I was even laughing out loud. In fact, in the hilarious haze of Star Trek references, awkward social situations and jokes about the Doppler Effect, I managed to finish the entire season. My conclusion? It's like what I imagine it would be like if Sam, Bill and Neal grew up, found an Indian BFF, relocated to California and moved across the hall from Elle Woods. In other words: AWESOME.

I am sure part of the reason I am feeling the love for this show is that geeky guys seem to be my weakness, or kryptonite if you will. (Is it just me or is Leonard kind of totally adorkable? I am into his whole boy-in-hoodie with curly hair and thick glasses look.) But when it really comes down to it, I think my heart-on (much love, Michael Scott) for BBT comes from the fact that I kinda identify with Sheldon, Leonard, Howard and Rajesh. I'm a nerd too. Just not when it comes to string theory and Dr. Who. But just mention Buffy or hyperboles and I'll geek out faster than a speeding bullet.

Mood Music: "Maybe This Time" by Kristin Chenoweth and Lea Michele

Girl, put your records on..

2009-09-27T12:30:00.001-04:00

"...tell me your favourite song. Just go ahead, let your hair down..."

While I was in Nova Scotia, chillaxing with Mama Gagne's side of the fam jam, my cousin Cate and I stumbled upon a musical jackpot.

My grandpa has quite the collection of old vinyl in his living room. I've always seen them laying around every time I've come down to visit, but I never took a genuine gander at them. Usually I'm too busy playing Scattergories or some silly homemade game (think Hedbanz minus the bands and plus some hobo Post-Its) to even think about them. However, this trip Cate and I found ourselves mysteriously drawn to the stacks of vintage tunes.

At first, the collection seemed kinda old-folky (i.e. way too many Barry Manilow and Willie Nelson records). But on further inspection, I started to uncover gem after gem of old-school musical delights. The delish selections included Judy Garland at Carnagie Hall, Dolly Parton's Greatest Hits (UNOPENED!), the My Fair Lady soundtrack, Blondie, The Sound of Music, Jesus Christ Superstar and lots of Frank Sinatra. Needless to say, we were in love.

Under a contagious spell of blast-from-the-past euphoria, Cate and I spent most of our days in Wallace dancing around like Lindsay Weir in the presence of a Grateful Dead record, our arms swaying aimlessly and our eyes closed. Of course, we went back to playing our game of Spit or Clue as soon as anyone else entered the room, but we still managed to do some serious head-bobbing while we played.

Just as I thought my love for the Wallace musical library couldn't grow any bigger (my heart was already getting quite crowded just being in Nova Scotia again), I found out how much my grandpa loved that we were getting into the records. My cousin said she overheard him telling someone he had been thinking about selling the property again but after he saw us getting all excited by the vinyl and "getting into the spirit of the place", he realized how stupid he was to even think about selling. How adorable is that? If I had known putting on a Dolly record would get him to see what I've seen in the place my whole life, I would have put down my trashy books and playing cards way sooner.

Mood Music: "Althea" by The Grateful Dead

Gleeking out!

2009-09-26T19:42:00.005-04:00

I LOOOOOOOVE THIS SHOW.

Mood Music: "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys

Diablo Cody is totally boss.

2009-09-21T21:25:00.009-04:00

It's been over a week since I spoke to the coolest woman alive and needless to say, I am still freaking out.

My only goal at this year's TIFF was to meet Diablo Cody, my favourite writer, in person. I staked out red carpet sitch before the Jennifer's Body premiere (at the Ryerson Theatre!) avec my similarly celeb-crazy friends but alas, Diablo dodged the fan area and went straight for the press. I was totally bummed but I went to see the movie, hoping that it would help me forget how awesome it would have been to talk to the woman who made Sunny-D and hamburger phones cool again. However, everytime I heard Megan Fox or Amanda Seyfried whip out a wickedly witty Diablo-fied quip in the midst of the teenage bloodshed, I couldn't help but wish I'd somehow found my way into the press area. My insta-regret expanded even more during the Q & A, when she declared that she would make JB "children's toys" and "fruit snacks" if the movie did well at the box office.

As we left the theatre to head home, I saw the usual crowd of fanboys and girls huddling around the exit to the Rye Theatre, hoping to snap one final shot of Megan Fox. Suddenly, I realized that this could be my chance to see Diablo, one last time. Yelling some sort of muffled version of "Hold my stuff!", I ran into the crowd and immediately made BFFs with some girl in front. I had laringitis at the time, so I asked her, in my sorta pubscent drag queen voice, to call out "Diablo!" at the top of her lungs and hold out the magazine I had with me if a short-haired blonde chick came out. And being the BFF that she is, she screamed for Diablo, until she gravitated towards me.

My hands shaking and my voice as high as it could go (think about RuPaul level), I handed Diablo my copy of her latest EW column. She smiled and said she was really surprised and flattered that I read her articles. I told her that I also read her book and that she was ridiculously witty and awesome (I know, smooth, right?). Then she took a picture with me! Just as I went to say thank you, she got whisked away to talk to some other fans. I was too starstruck to even mind.

Mood Music: "You Belong with Me" by Taylor Swift

Oh no. I gotta go. Back to schooooool. (AGAIN!)

2009-09-08T18:23:00.017-04:00

School started today and while many of you have already been entranced by the reality of the strangely comforting feel of new textbooks, fresh Hilroy lined paper, mechanical pencils that are actually filled and highlighters with ample ink, I can't seem to get my mind off movies.

The beginning of the school year always kickstarts my cinematic libido because just days after we step back into our respective classrooms (or labs if you're science-y), the Toronto International Film Festival starts. Although TIFF pretty much owns my (and now, many of my friends') soul in September, you don't have to go a big film fest to get your movie fix before school actually gets hard.

When I'm not perusing and schmoozing (near) the red carpet scene, I like to indulge in some classic school themed flicks and TV shows. Even though most of us hated at least part of our high school (or university) lives, there is something wonderfully homey about getting all nostalgic and looking back on growing up. Even if involves reminding ourselves that we were a brain, a basket case, a princess, an athlete or a criminal back in the day.

In honor of one of my favourite genres (if not my favourite), here is a list of my top 10 shows/movies that will teach even the most angsty teenager that high school can be the most bittersweetly awesome place to re-visit. Wedgies, pop quizzes, awkward crushes and all. Enjoy em' while you don't have five essays to write.

1. My So-Called Life

In my humble opinion, this series is not for everyone. If you have adverse reactions to excessive amounts of plaid, Jared Leto or introspective reflections, then you will hate everything about Angela Chase and her so-called friends Rayanne Graff and Rickie Vasquez. But if you've ever hung out with someone you parents didn't like, referred to your crush by his full name (and only his full name), slipped up on a test, felt completely ugly because of a tiny pimple, turned your back on an old friend, or dyed your hair a obscure shade of red because your raggedy old one was holding you back, then you will have a time with this show.

2. Freaks and Geeks

Judd Apatow gave the endlessly lovable (and recognizable!) misfits at McKinley High School Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation" as a theme song but, this show is anything but poorly regarded. Freaks and Geeks is a cult favourite, and with way too many reasons to count. From the first minute of the pilot, when the camera pans away from the unrealistically lovesick quarterback and his cheerleader gf on the football and down to a group of most likely stoned guys ranting about parents and the importance of Led Zeppelin, you know this is a special show. And it just gets better from there. Well not really. Nothing goes right on this show. Teachers don't treat everyone equally. Parents don't stay together. Romances don't blossom gracefully (try not to cringe when Linsday and Nick (Linda Cardenelli and Jason Segel) goes from sweet to helplessly awkward in the span of one Styx song). Parties aren't really that fun. Best friends don't last forever. It sounds upsetting, but with Apatow and Paul Feig at the helm, it's downright hilarious.

3. Election

I am incredibly biased because I pretty much worship Reese Witherspoon, but by god, why didn't the woman get an Oscar for this movie? I mean, she played a mean June Carter but, this performance is even better. She IS Tracy Flick in this movie. And Tracy Flick is not a likable person in any way shape or form. Very unlike Reese.

4. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV series)

You either get Buffy or you don't. But if you get it, you're head-over-heels in love with it. And how can you not be, really? The whole fighting demons gimmick is really just a metaphor for dealing with all the crap that high school throws you. But it's so much more kickass when the crap comes in the form of assorted creatures of the night.

5. The Breakfast Club

Don't you forget about this movie. Only a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie would, and you my friend, are not a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie. Well, that is if you've seen this movie. If not, then I really can't save you from geekdom. Just accept your fate and maybe one day someone will write a really great movie or show about your life set to a wicked Simple Minds song. (R.I.P. John Hughes.)

6. Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Sean Penn was really a funny laidback guy once. Hard to believe, I know, but it's true. Just ask Mr. Hand. Oh, and when you see him, say aloha for me, m'kay?

7. Clueless

I first saw this movie the summer between Grade 1 and Grade 2. My parents were stupid and let me choose the movie. They said I could see pick either The Great Panda Adventure or Clueless. To my six-year-old self, the choice was obvious (The poster had three cool older girls wearing boas and talking on cellphones! Like the pandas had a chance! As if!). The minute movie started, I wanted to be Cher Horowitz (The girl had a computerized outfit selecter!) so I went out and bought myself a fluffy pink feather pen and started saying things like "I'm outie!", "Whatever!" and using terms like "Betty" and "Baldwin" in my day-to-day life. I was sure if I started then, I'd be so ahead of the game when high school actually came around. Once I hit Grade 9, however, fluffy pens were out, the Baldwin bros weren't hot anymore and Alicia Silverstone was barely on anyone's radar. But even though my dreams of becoming Cher have been crushed forever, I love the movie more now. Watching it as an adult is totally different. I actually get the jokes.

8. Donnie Darko

Time travel. Giant Bunnies. Wormholes. Patrick Swayze. Sparkle Motion. Genius.

9. Heathers

WARNING: This isn't another fun teen romp. It's about suicide, Diet Coke-heads and underage sex. And it's absolutely hilarious. Heathers certainly isn't for everyone but I say if you can't handle sharp dark humour mixed in with your teen love triangles and cafeteria gossip, then what's your damage?

10. Glee

I've only seen one episode of this musical-dramedy but I'm in love with the witty High School Musical goes Freaks and Geeks vibe it's giving out. They are showing the second episode tomorrow night on FOX so it's the perfect time to catch up!

BONUS: Grease 2

Okay, so I know everyone is crazy about the first Grease, and I totally get that (I dressed up as a Pink Lady back in Grade 6.). But Grease 2 tackles some issues Danny and Sandy wouldn't have even dared to talk - let alone sing - about when they did their stint at Rydell. I'm talking musical interludes about reproduction, the best ways to turn bowling terminology into sexual innuendos, rock-a-hula-luaus and masked biker dudes. Oh, and a snappy number about going back to school. What's not to quote endlessly?!!

Mood Music: "Church Clothes" by Matt Nathanson

Freaky geeky..

2009-09-07T03:44:00.007-04:00

Once upon a time, a nerd of a young gal named Emily happened upon a book entitled Geeky Dreamboats on ModCloth. Immediately, she fell in love.

But even though her nerdtastic yearning for this truly important text grew larger every day, Emily never expressed my her true feelings to anyone, except maybe her good friend, the favourites section of Internet Explorer. Today, after months of fantasizing about uncovering the wonderful nuggets of geekdom nerdy man-boys like Jemaine Clement, Michael Cera, John Cusack and Andy Samberg have to offer, her friend Priya surprised her with a copy as a super-premature b-day present (her big day's in November). It was a geek-boy miracle.

The End.

P.S. - I can't stop wondering if I wrote this book in my sleep.

Mood Music: "Kiss With a Fist" by Florence and the Machine (NEW FAVOURITE SONG.)

The reel Ted Mosby..

2009-08-22T17:46:00.008-04:00

(Ted: "What is that poser doing pretending to be me - AND

- possibly stealing the future mother of my children!?")

After seeing (500) Days of Summer again, I have come to a truly important revelation. Tom Hansen is the reel Ted Mosby.

Think about it. They're both wannabee architects. They both love to provide you with all the random trivia they know about buildings. They both ardently believe in L-O-V-E, even after they get their heartbroken. They both fall for brunette girls who are commitment-phobes, at least until they meet the right - and most likely blonde (see: Summer's rando light-haired hubby and Robin's new-found love Barney) guys. They both love indie music and can be rather snobby about it. They both have perfectly tousled brunet man-dos. They both have best buddies who got married to their first girlfriends (Marshall on HIMYM and Paul in (500) Days) . They both love the fine art of karaoke (Did you know it's Japanese for empty orchestra? Isn't that hauntingly beautiful?). They both have experience forging relationships via elevator shafts. And most importantly, they both look smashing in blazers.

Okay, so I may have gone a bit overboard with this whole comparison. But come to think of it, being the ridiculously introspective and analytical boys that they are, Ted and Tom would totally approve.

P.S. - Is anyone else hopelessly in love with (500) Days?

Mood Music: "Love Hurts" by Nazareth

Jason Segel, I love YOU, man!

2009-08-15T14:48:00.009-04:00

(Sigh.)

(Jason, I just wanna hold YOU.)

(I want to ride HIS bicycle..)

That's it. Jason, we're getting married. Right now. You can even bring your puppets. I don't care who's there. I just need to get my hands on your frecklelicious bod.

Mood Music: "Here Comes the Sun" by The Beatles

I've gone Mad!

2009-08-13T14:05:00.005-04:00

"Why yes, Don I will have another martini with you in this sketchy empty bar. I swear, I won't tell Betty.."

Mood Music: "Party in the U.S.A." - Miley Cyrus (I can't lie. I LOVE this song.)

Marky Mark's off the market (and I'm 13 again)..

2009-08-13T01:02:00.018-04:00

(Marky and I get cosy between the sheets. Please take note
of the tag line: "Wild Man...Child-Man...100% Hot!" )

I still can't believe this man is officially off the market. My thirteen-year-old self is totally crushed.

But even though my childhood dreams of getting between Marky Mark and his Calvins have now become a definite impossibility, I still can't stop feeling good vibrations or sweet sensations for the man. Excuse me while I whip out my Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch video tape and trivia book (Yeah, me and Marky were that serious in Grade 7) and drool all over myself.

P.S. - Where was this shirt hiding when I was in middle school? This would have saved me so many hours of nervously looking for pics of Mark in sexually suggestive poses (Hey, I was curious. And even he was obsessed with his package. The man dedicated his biography to his dick. Seriously.)

P.P.S - I would just like to point out that my obsession with everyone's favourite white rapper wasn't even in the early 90s. I started requesting "Good Vibrations" at barmitvahs (I was successful once!), in like 2001. I was that cool.

Mood Music: "Magic Dance" by David Bowie

What a Drag!

2009-07-22T22:48:00.006-04:00

These draglicious divas (from the ab-fab movie Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert) were lip-syncing for their lives way before RuPaul's Drag Race came onto the scene and drove away with my heart. If you don't find this fabulous in every which way, we cannot be friends.

P.S. - Speaking of fabulous, how exciting is it that they're starting up Vh1 Divas again?! To quote 90s diva CeCe Peniston, FINALLY!

P.P.S. - I'm starting to wonder if I was a gay man in a previous life.

Mood Music: "Finally" by CeCe Peniston

Reese's (deliciously summerlicious) pieces = too cute for words!

2009-07-19T00:05:00.016-04:00

I am not a fashionista by any stretchy jeans of the imagination but I have to admit, I am totally gaga for Reese Witherspoon's summerlicious printed skirt-tank-gladiators-over-sized bag combo.

The girl (actually, I should say, lady cause she looks so damn classy) usually looks gorgeous but this is one the cutest (and simplest) looks she's rocked in a while. I know I will never be a fashion sasspot but I hope that one day I can at least pull something as effortlessly chic. I am dying for one of those flattering high-waisted printed skirts but I have yet to find one that doesn't make me look like I have the hips of a non-surgically enhanced Octomom. I don't care what anyone says, hourglass is NOT the perfect shape.

Mood Music: "Love With Anything Else" by Old Springs Pike

Emmy takes on the Emmy's..

2009-07-17T23:59:00.014-04:00

When the Emmy nominations were announced on Thursday, I was one unhappy Emmy. Once again, the awards show neglected to fulfill my always burning desire to see seriously underappeciated TV get recognition (although, really the award show's name would suggest otherwise). Pushing Daisies was nearly neglected (thank god for a Kristen Cheno nod!). NPH was denied (although he is hosting the show). The United States of Tara barely made the cut (at least they recognized Toni Collete's brilliance). And worst of all, True Blood was completely shut out (how much does that one suck!)! If this Emmy had any actual input, things would be mighty different.

But even in this haze of terrible misrepresentative judgements, I managed to find some solace in the fact that the truly awesome Jemaine Clement (a.k.a. the better half of Flight of the Conchords) got some Emmy love. And no, I'm not just talking about the overwhelming fangirly sentiments he gets from me on a regular basis - although those are at an all-time high at this moment in time.

In honor of my anger at those other Emmy peeps out there, I present Bret's angry dance montage (frustrated dance-outs are always the answer(!) - just ask my homeboy, Ren McCormack) from Flight of the Conchords. And in honor of Mr. Clement's nom, enjoy this autre fantastique samplemoose of le genius that is Jemaine and Bret.

Mood Music: "I'm Not Crying" by Flight of the Conchords

Anthropologie's really got a hold on me...

2009-07-14T21:40:00.014-04:00

Yesterday, I went to the new Anthropologie store at the Shops at Don Mills and fell in loverly about 140 times over.

I have been to the store several times in the States before, but I never fell as hard for the quirky looks of this upscale Urban Outfitters as I did last night. The moment I walked in, I was hooked. As I walked around the store, I was absolutely positive about three things. First, the dresses were ridiculously adorable vintage-inspired masterpieces of bohemian sass (and I'm putting that lightly). Second, that the funky styles were straight off the backs (not literally, but you know what I mean) of my favourite quirky girly style icons - Zooey Deschanel, Kate Nash and Charlotte Charles - complete with the flattering hourglass silhouettes and whimsically colorful patterns. And third, that I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with them (Bonus points if you catch that reference!)

If the price tags had been $100 less, I would have bought at least 5 of the summery frocks. But they were mighty expensive, leaving me with no choice but to admire them from afar (and briefly from underneath the extremely flattering lights of the change rooms). For now, I guess I'll have to settle for working some make-shift Zooey bangs (Vi showed me how to get em' goin'!), rockin' the occasional Kate-ish Forever 21 frock and eating amazing amounts of amusingly alliterative pie.

P.S. - Speaking of Zooey, is anyone else super-pumped for 500 Days of Summer?

Mood Music: "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?" by She & Him

Summer cheese makes me feel fine..

2009-07-14T17:35:00.005-04:00

Here's a beautifully dreamy song for a beautiful and dreamy summer day.

I know, I know. Sorry for the super-cheesy post but I am feelin' the summer love today and this song is hitting the spot. I would like to personally thank Van Morrison (cause, you know, he totally reads my blog) for this deliciously feel-good song. And Moonlight Mile for making it even more delectable and nostalgic.

Haven't seen Moonlight Mile? Get off the couch and go rent it now. Or at least watch the trailer after you go for that bike ride I know you're jonesin' for right now (the summer breeze is calling me too).

P.S. - Pardon the fangirl sidenote, but is it just me or does RPattz sound like Van on "Let Me Sign"? Perhaps my rational thoughts are being taken over by my weakness for men who sound like they're singing gibberish but I think it's kind of eerie.

Mood Music: "Summer Breeze" by Seals & Crofts

Peachy keen..

2009-07-06T00:10:00.008-04:00

This week I took a bite of a delicious teen novel by the name of Peaches and let me tell you friends, I am still salivating.

The scrumptous slice of loverly-ness is a like a Southern Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (or teen Ya-Ya Sisterhood) minus the supernatural pantalones. The Jodi Lynn Anderson novel follows the lives of three teenage girls, who, in the immortal words of the Lyte Funky Ones,"come from Georgia where the peaches grow, drink lemonade and speak real slow". Their names are Birdie (the shy but sweet one), Murphy (the wild but smart one) and Leeda (the rich but sad one) and at the beginning of the novel, they seem worlds apart. But after spending a summer together working at a failing peach orchard, they grow to discover that, like the peaches they've been picking everyday, although they seem to be completely unique from one another, on the inside, they are extremely similar.

Yeah, I know, sounds completely cheestastic, right? Sometimes it is. But more than often, it's just as sweet as can be (that was not me be trying to sound like Sookie Stackhouse or anything). I am totally biased, because I have a sweet tooth for anything Southern-fried (see: my life-long love for Fried Green Tomatoes) but I honestly think that if you're looking for a genuinely light and feel-good book, this will hit the spot. If you're anything like me, you'll spend two lovely days getting sunburned in a hammock and drinking gallons of lemonade while falling in love these characters. Especially Birdie, who both friend my Candis and I agree is pretty much my literary counterpart. Plus, it's the first in a series of three books (the others being, The Secrets of Peaches and Love & Peaches), so it'll give you a nice juicy series to sink your teeth into this summer.

All foodie puns aside, I genuinely think you should give this little book a chance. And if you hate it, well, just take it down to the Handy Book Exchange (a.k.a. my new favourite Avenue Rd. indoorsy girl hotspot) and get yourself something more your style. Cause seriously, nothing is more summery and dreamy than getting lost in a good book. Except maybe actually getting outside. But that's it.

Mood Music: "Paranoid" by the Jonas Brothers (I AM TWELVE)

I miss the 90s like crazy (even more than words can say)!

2009-07-03T21:23:00.010-04:00

Today I was attempting to go through some of the mess that is my room and I stumbled upon two of the most important albums of my tween years: Sabrina the Teenage Witch: The Album and an autographed copy of The Moffatts' Chapter I: A New Beginning (because so much had begun for those frosted-tips teen Canadian rockers before that landmark album). Needless to say, what happened next was a ridiculous nostalgia-filled dance party in my room.

I'm not sure if you were into either of these albums, but I'm sure you have your fair share of CDs that remind you of the good ol' days when YTV still played awesome shows (Breaker High. Clueless. Student Bodies. Are You Afraid of the Dark? Goosebumps. Ready or Not. The list goes on and on..), Lance Bass was still claiming to be into the ladies (remember his fling with Topanga!!?), everyone's favourite guilty-pleasure brother band still consisted of my homeboys Zac, Taylor and Isaac, ABC still believed that we really should be thankful for our Friday nights at home (The best TGIF line-up ever: Boy Meets World, Sabrina, You Wish & Teen Angel), Millionaire was still popular and Regis-filled, butterfly clips were still anything but kitschy, Pogs still were legit, Melissa Joan Hart was still the coolest girl around (Drive Me Crazy was my TOTALLY my life in Grade 5), Mary-Kate and Ashley still had vacation bfs somewhat close to their age, the hottest vampire boyfriend was still Angel, Archie was still single and free from his mismatched wifey (sorry, Betty always beats Veronica in my heart of hearts!), The Hit List was still the one and only source for all pop culture info (suck it Perez!), and Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. were still the prom queen and prom king of our little tweenage wannabee hearts!

Okay, maybe your retro-licious records don't remind you of those specific things but you know what I mean. As much as we try to resist our ridic childhood favs, we know in our hearts we still love them just as much as we did then because they remind us of a time when people weren't so pretenious and judgemental (case in point: no one said no to the boy band phenom, we simply chose a side (in case your wondering, I am forever an *Nsync girl)) and you weren't afraid to love semi-terrible things (sadly, I am still in this state of mind).

Pardon the overly sentimental list of awesomeness. I am just suffering from some serious late-90s cravings right now. Especially because of The Moffatts. Just looking at my autographed (!) CD takes me back to the day I saw the Canadian boys rock out at Playdium and I experienced my first genuine moment of Mom-barassment. As we approached Scott, Cliff, Bob and Dave at the meet n' greet booth, Mama Gagne looked at my crushes and said, "I hope you boys are wearing sunscreen because it's a scorcher out there today!". I literally hid behind my Britney Spears bucket hat and prayed that I would never have to attend an event at Playdium again. But that didn't happen because S Club 7 came there shortly after, and you know I couldn't miss out on that.

Before I go and most likely indulge in some more 90s worship via a viewing of vintage Dawson's Creek eps (I'm watching season 1 right now), let me just give you this drool-worthy wet dream of a list of pop tracks on the Sabrina soundtrack. All it's missing is Hanson (who totally made a cameo on the show!).

1. Walk of Life - Spice Girls
2. Abracadabra - Sugar Ray
3. Hey Mr. D.J. (Keep Playin' This Song) - Backstreet Boys
4. One Way or Another - MELISSA JOAN HART!
5. Kate - Ben Folds Five
6. Show Me Love - Robyn
7. Giddy Up - *Nsync
8. Slam Dunk (Da Funk) - Five (a.k.a. life)
9. Magnet & Steel - Matthew Sweet
10. So I Fall Again - Phantom Planet
11. I Know What Boys Like - Pure Sugar
12. Smash - The Murmurs
13. Doctor Jones - Aqua
14. Soda Pop - Britney Spears
15. Amnesia - Chumbawamba
16. Blah, Blah, Blah - The Cranberries

P.S. - The Sabrina soundtrack has "Kate" by Ben Folds Five on it! Even pre-teen me knew Mr. Folds had a serious jonesin' for Mr. Folds! I LOVE IT!

Mood Music: "Doctor Jones" by Aqua

And Buffy kills Edward. The End.

2009-06-30T22:26:00.005-04:00

Edward: "You're like my own personal brand of heroin."

Buffy: "What, are you twelve?"

What would happen if Buffy Summers met Edward Cullen? Let's just say Mr. Hunky and Sparkly wouldn't be getting very many smoochies from the Buffster. In fact, the only date I think this Angel-Lite (I don't care if Stephenie Meyer has never seen Buffy, the boy's just a trenchcoat and a couple 1,000 kills away from getting cursed by a pack of gypsies) would get in Sunnydale would be with Mr. Pointy.

P.S. - In other Buffy news, am I the only one totally pumped for the Once More With Feeling at the Bloor?

Mood Music: Oh! Sweet Nuthin' by The Velvet Underground

Harper's bizarre-ly beautiful moment..

2009-06-29T23:11:00.013-04:00

(RIP Cal & Chloe)

I'm not sure if you've been watching the failed murder mystery series Harper's Island. Being the underdog aficionado that I am, I have been following this series every week. Until this past week, the show has been mildly interesting and semi-scary at times but nothing too amazing. But after this week's crushing episode, I think I may be in love with this nearly-dead series.

At the end of the episode, one of the main characters and half of the show's cutest couple, Cal, is killed by the murderous John Wakefield. Wakefield stabs Cal and pushes him off a bridge in front of his gf, Chloe, who is holding onto the side of the bridge for her life. The scene is pretty heartbreaking up until then, but it veers into full-on mental melt-down territory when the camera pans back to Chloe.

Just as Wakefield lifts his arm to make Chloe meet the wrong side his machete, a beautifully haunting song by Civil Twilight ("Letters From the Sky") begins to swell in the background. Chloe turns Wakefield and says, "You can't have me", before releasing her grip from the bridge and falling into the deep waters next to her late hubby-to-be.

I am pretty sure you don't care a bit about anything I just said, but trust me, if you had watched the series, you would have made like me and weeped like a baby at the perfectly heartwrenching mix of loss, sacrifice and goosebump-inspiring pop-rock ballad. But if any of what I just said tugged at your heartstrings, check out this show before it gets buried forever in two short weeks.

Mood Music: "Wait" by Alexi Murdoch

Snapshots and judgements with Monsieur Mayer..

2009-06-14T00:35:00.015-04:00

"You should have seen that sunrise, with your own eyes. It brought me back to life. You'll be with me next time I go outside. No more 3 x 5s." - John Mayer ("3 x 5")

I was having a spontaneous John Mayer listening sesh this evening and I realized, once again, how much this man's lyrics own my soul. Seriously, I don't know how he gets things so dead on all the time. Somehow he manages to take the simpliest sentences and turn them into something so beautiful and bittersweet.

This particular lyric from "3 x 5" particularly pulled at my heart strings tonight. I often wonder if I spend too much time observing and too little time, as my favourite wallflower would put it, "participating". Last week I was just telling my mom that I love to play photographer at family functions because it takes me away from interacting with people. Sure, socializing with barely-there fam and friends may not be as compelling as the life-changing sunrise John speaks of, but you get the idea. Maybe I need to make like Monsieur Mayer, trade in the 3 x 5s and get a solid picture of reality. That is, if I can stop thinking about it and actually get out there. Perhaps this goal won't be as simple as I thought..

P.S. - In case you're wondering, le photograph above (oh, the obvious irony) is from John's 2008 concert at the Molson Ampitheatre. If you haven't seen this man live, you are seriously missing out. And don't bring your camera with you. Cause you'll miss his legendary mid-guitar solo facial orgasms.

Mood Music: "83" by John Mayer

A Royal crush..

2009-06-04T00:24:00.010-04:00

(Photo: Damour)

Today I watched The Royal Tenenbaums and I fell in love too many times to count. I fell in love with the bright yet faded colors of the film. I fell in love with the quirky narration (done by Alec Baldwin!). I fell in love with the kickass mixed bag of a soundtrack (I'm talking Charlie Brown's "Christmas Time is Here" next to the Rolling Stones). I fell in love with the whole dys-fun-ctional family vibe. But most of all, I fell in love with Richie Tenenbaum.

Richie, played by a weirdly adorable yet hairy Luke Wilson, is an ex-tennis player who has a serious penchant for rocking a headband (the man was way ahead of you poser hipster gals), a khaki blazer and slacks, a polo, a killer shaggy hairdo, an out-of-control beard and of course, an unnecessary pair of tinted spectacles (both inside and outside). In a way, he looks like a cave man who raided a vintage store. And maybe even sometimes, a hobo. But somehow, it works. At least it does on me.

But even though I fell pray to his carefully disheveled style, not everyone else seems to share my feelings. Cue the unrequited - yet still ongoing - love Richie has for his adopted sister, Margot (a wicked Gwyneth Paltrow) in the movie. It's one of those it's-kind-of-weird-but-it's-kind-of-perfect-in-every-way (think Cher and her ex-stepbro, Josh, in Clueless) movie romances that I can't help but root for. Especially when you've got such a puppy-dog hopeless kind of guy at the helm of the sorta misguided devotion.

Speaking of not-so-wise choices, while I was still on my Tenenbaums high today, I decided to give another Wes Anderson flick a go: Rushmore. I wanted to love it so much, but really, it didn't quite grab me in the way Tenenbaums did. I never really liked Max Fisher enough I guess. He kind of had a Holden Caulfield way about him, and to be honest, I'm not a Catcher in the Rye fanatic (but somehow I forgave the fact that the Tenenbaums seemed very similar to the Glass fam in Franny and Zooey, which I was even less into). I will say, however, the music was quite awesome. Any movie that ends with "Ooh La La" by The Faces is okay avec moi.

But I digress. What I'm trying to say is, Richie Tenenbaum is my new Nick Andopolis for the moment. I would have a secret love affair in a indoor tent with him any day. And maybe even OD on black eye liner. After all, a friend once told me I had a Gwyneth Paltrow look about me. But then again, I think they might have been high as a kite at the time. Whatever, I'll take it.

Mood Music: "Let it Loose" by The Rolling Stones

HOLY MAN-WICH!: Edward Cullen meets Hirsch-y Kisses!

2009-06-03T00:01:00.012-04:00

SCHWING!!!

I've never even remotely had an urge to be Peaches Geldolf until right now. Even despite the fact that my boys are either totally hammered or ridiculously bored in this pictoral.

P.S. - Rumor has it, Emile is going to be doing a Hamlet remake with Catherine Hardwicke and the producers of American Beauty and Milk! I'm sure people will hate it, but I'm prety much positive I will be in love with it.

Mood Music: "Don't Let Me Stop You" by Kelly Clarkson

Say "Hello" to the most adorable show on Earth..

2009-06-02T20:31:00.008-04:00

ABC has finally awoken from their ridiculously long lapse in logical thinking (too bad Ned can't revive the alive and brainless) and begun showing the final three episodes of Pushing Daisies. And I couldn't be happier (Whoa. Whoa! I just got visions of "Thank Goodness" from Wicked right there!! Loves it!).

This week's episode, the oh-so-sharply titled "Window Dressed to Kill", was absolutely quirktastic and loverly. The plot itself was rather delish (Ned figures out that he doesn't not love Olive while Emerson and Chuck try and solve some department store deaths) but the best part of the episode was Kristen Chenoweth's latest mid-scene musical outburst. Lionel Ritchie's "Hello" has never sounded so genuinely heartbreaking and fresh. And thanks to Olive's delightfully golden hat, I have never been so overwhelmingly eager to don a furry beret in the midst of summer.

I can't wait to see what the gang from The Pie Hole have in store for us next week when we get one step closer to the end of another unjustly cancelled underdog of a (terrific) series. Can you say, story of my life? I love to love the unloved.

Mood Music: "Birdhouse in Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants

Crazy for Swayze!

2009-05-27T14:10:00.009-04:00

I always knew Swayze was a sexy beast who inspired miracles (see: multiple surrounding rainbows!) but I had no idea he was also secretly a mythological creature. Thank you random tattooed person, you have made it clear that Patrick really is the perfect man (sorry Bo Bice).

Want some more Swayze action in your life? Watch and enjoy:

Mood Music: "She's Like the Wind" by Patrick Swayze

If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad..

2009-05-23T23:34:00.009-04:00

This morning, when I was in my car going to work, "If It Makes You Happy" (by Sheryl Crow) came on the radio. I've heard this song a billion times, but for some reason, today it really struck a chord (he he..music puns) with me. In the few minutes that it replaced the pre-work anxiety in my head, I realized that really, this song contains what might as well be my personal motto in life.

I will be the first to admit that I like a fair share of what some might call, "terrible" TV shows, books, magazines and movies. But just because they aren't technically well-done, doesn't mean they aren't worth something. They are worth something to you. They make you happy. And if they make you happy, they can't be that bad. Case in point: Crossroads. It's a ridic movie in theory, but it fills me with middle-school nostalgia and makes me feel totally awesome. Oh yeah, and it may feature a certain epiphany-inducing song by a former Mrs. Lance Armstrong (see: randomly Spanish YouTube vid).

P.S. - This pic and vid just scream summer road trip to me! I think it's a sign. Anyone wanna kick it air-conditioned gypsy-style with me this summer vacay?

Mood Music: "So Have I For You" by Nikka Costa

(Don't you) forget about Wayne Brady..

2009-05-23T23:02:00.006-04:00

Finally, someone understands the utter brilliance that is Don't Forget the Lyrics!

P.S. - Can you please look at Wayne's hands in this pictoral? Where are fuck are all his fingers coming from!? I mean, I know where they're coming from, but my god, they look creepers. I don't know about you, but I'm starting to believe the man is an extraterrestrial sent to earth to invite people to join in awkward karaoke-style sing-song bliss.

Mood Music: "Spirit Of Radio" by Rush

Glee, you sure are terrific!

2009-05-19T17:24:00.018-04:00

Tonight I experienced the televisual equivalent of complete geek euphoria.

The show is (most aptly) called Glee and it is a musically inclined breath of quirk-filled fresh air. It's the perfect mixture of Popular, Mean Girls and Freaks and Geeks (the high school is even called McKinley!) with a sprinkling of High School Musical (is that another Troy Bolton I see waiting to burst out of the locker room and into a inspirational power ballad?). And that's just the beginning.

The cast includes two original cast members from my favourite Broadway shows: Matthew Morrison (The Great White Way's original Link Larkin in Hairspray) and Lea Michele (Spring Awakening's first Wendla). Oh and the pilot episode alone features not one, but two (!) Journey classics: "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'" and of course, pop rock's pièce de résistance, "Don't Stop Believin'".

My friend Melissa once claimed that I had a serious jonesin' for underdogs. I laughed it off but after watching this show, I totally see it. Like those other McKinley castoffs I love, the kids from Glee, are not the privileged kids with the perfect hair and ludicrous lack of genuine problems or social awkwardness (see: 90210, The O.C. - both of which, I can't stand). They are the under-appreciated, the misunderstood, the down-trodden, the nerds, the freaks and the geeks all wrapped up into one. And I absolutely love them for it.

P.S. - Forgive my punny title. I couldn't resist. You should be happy I didn't do something involving the phrase "Gee Whiz!". Cause I was totally thinking about it.

Mood Music: "I'm Alright" by Kenny Loggins

A flannel-licious double feature..

2009-05-18T17:48:00.026-04:00

Over the long weekend, I watched two kickass movies: New Waterford Girl and Singles. In theory, they are both very different (first off, one is extremely Canadian) but they share one majorly mutual characteristic: a sense of pure awesomeness.

Let's start off with New Waterford Girl. I had seen parts of this quirky coming-of-age flick in the past, but nothing compares to seeing the whole thing in it's East Coast Canuck glory. The movie revolves around Moonie Pottie (played by One Week's Liane Balaban), a teenage girl who is the perfect smorgasbord of the rebellious yet introspective adolescent heroines I love and identify with. She's part Angela Chase, part Lindsay Weir and a whole lot Nomi Nickel. That is, if these girls moved to New Waterford, Nova Scotia.

Throughout the movie, Moonie attempts to make her way out of her super small town so she can see the world, most notably New York City, the home of an art high school she has been accepted to. The whole thing is very A Complicated Kindness. That is, if Nomi dropped the Mennonite thing and got a nice thick Cape Breton accent. Even the time period is the same (the 1970s). I'm sure this similarity made me love Moonie's story more, but even if it didn't have an eerie resemblance to my favourite Miriam Toews novel (if not my favourite book of all-time), I know I would love this loverly slice of Eastern Canadiana.

From the get-go The New Waterford Girl has this breezy - and almost folksy - feel that I crave in movies. It's the type of movie that makes you want to crawl under a plaid blanket, sip a cup of semi-warm tea and fall completely in love with it. I might even say that you would want some nice dark chocolate to along with it, but really, the movie already has the bittersweet thing covered. It's hopeful enough to give you that cinematic warmth in the pit of your stomach, but real enough to keep you grounded. Oh, and it features a smokin' cameo from none other than Andrew McCarthy, playing a semi-creepy yet kind of entirely endearing teacher (I'm not one for sideburns (see: my distaste for Kevin Jonas) but the man works em' so h-core here, I can't resist! Maybe that's just the thick East Coast air talking, but I seriously doubt it). In other words, it's strangely perfect.

While New Waterford Girl focuses on growing up on the East Coast, Singles looks at things from a West Coast perspective. I knew I was going to like this movie from the moment the it started. First off, it's a Cameron Crowe movie. Secondly, it's set in 90s Seattle. And finally, it features the strange hotness that is Matt Dillon. What I did not know was that I was going to fall in L-O-V-E with it.

The movie is all about a group of 20-somethings in an apartment complex trying to find love. It's pretty simple when it comes down to it, but there were just some moments, that really make it something else. Like when Matt's character talks about his band, Citizen Dick and their endearing song, "Touch Me, I'm Dick". Or when you realize that Eddie Vedder is part of his fictional band. Or when you look at Bridget Fonda's character and you realize how many people copy 90s grunge style to a flannel tee today. Or when you realize how flippin' amazing every single (he he..) song on the soundtrack is. Or when you find Campbell Scott's friend in the movie to be a 20-something coffee shop rat version of Matt Nathanson.

I could go on and on, but honestly, I don't want to. Just rent the movie and see it for yourself. If you're anything like me, you'll be floating on a 90s nostalgia high for days. Hence, why I'm wearing flannel in the midst of May. Actually, when I think about it, my sudden urge to plaid-it-out might also be because of Moonie's awesome red plaid jacket. Either way, I think it is obvious that both of these movies are most definetly worthy of a spot in your next long weekend movie marathon.

Mood Music: "You'll Accomp'ny Me" by Bob Seger

Saturday afternoon TV, you mean everything to meeee...

2009-05-16T16:31:00.007-04:00

Okay. Major dilemna. Both Spice World and The Top 100 Best One Hit Wonders of the 80s are on right now. How in the world am I supposed to choose between those two Saturday afternoon televisual gems?!?! This is just cruel.

Hold up! Clinton Kelly (from What Not to Wear) just popped on the Top 100 and called The Waitresses' top track, "I Know What Boys Like", "sassy". My choice is made. This afternoon is going to be one hit wonder-ful.

Mood Music: "Your Love" by The Outfield

FMML: Fuck My Mom's Life!

2009-05-15T20:34:00.009-04:00

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

Someone broke into my mom's car and stole her purse! It had all her cards, cash and primary info (via IDs) on it! And some other sentimental stuff (i..e stuff that she's kept from her mom who passed away 9 years ago!)

Wait - it gets worse! Her health card was also in her wallet and she needs it for her knee surgery on Tuesday. And she can't get a replacement on the weekend or on Monday, because it's a holiday!

What kind of fucking asshole would do this!!?!!!?

Mood Music: Nothing

I wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna be...KATE!

2009-05-14T23:20:00.013-04:00

Yikes-a-bee! Kate Bosworth is a goddess!

Mood Music: "Alice Childress" by Ben Folds Five

To infinity and beyond with Charlie the wallflower...

2009-05-14T22:33:00.005-04:00

Recently, I re-read one of my all-time favourite books (alongside A Complicated Kindness, To Kill a Mockingbird and The Color Purple), The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I cannot explain to you how beautiful this book is. You have to experience it for yourself. It is like My So-Called Life if Angela were a boy named Charlie and she listened to a lot of The Smiths.

I feel like this book was written for me and about it me. I mean, my name isn’t Charlie (but that is my all-time favourite name for a boy). And I’m not a boy And my life isn’t nearly as tragic as his is. But, Stephen Chbosky writes what I think and what I feel.

Here are a few words of Chbosky wisdom:

We accept the love we think we deserve.

Sometimes I look outside, and I think that a lot of other people have seen this snow before. Just like I think that a lot of other people have read these books before. And listened to those songs. I wonder how they feel tonight.

I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn’t.

I think it was the first time in my life I ever felt like I looked “good”. Do you know what I mean? That nice feeling when you look in the mirror and your hair’s right for the first time in your life? I don’t think we should base so much on weight, muscles and a good hair day, but when it happens, it’s nice. It really is.

Do you enjoy the holidays with your family? I don’t mean your mom and dad family, but your uncle and aunt and cousin family? Personally, I do. There are several reasons for this. First, I am very interested and fascinated by how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other.

Maybe these are my glory days, and I’m not even realizing it because they don’t involve a ball.

There is this one photograph of Sam that is just beautiful. It would be impossible to describe how beautiful it is, but I’ll try. If you listen to the song “Asleep” [by the Smiths] and you think about those pretty weather days that make you remember things, and you think about the prettiest eyes you’ve known, and you cry, and the person holds you back, then I think you will see the photograph.

There's something about that tunnel that leads to downtown. It's glorious at night. Just glorious. You start on one side of the mountain, and it's dark, and the radio is loud. As you enter the tunnel, the wind gets sucked away, and you squint from the lights overhead. When you adjust the lights, you see the other side in the distance just as the sound of the radio fades to nothing because the waves just can't reach. Then, you're in the middle of the tunnel, and everything becomes a calm dream. As you see the opening get closer, you just can't get there fast enough. And finally, just when you think you'll never get there, you see the opening right in front of you. And the radio comes back even louder than you remember it. And the wind is waiting. And you fly out of the tunnel onto the bridge. And there it is. The city.

Quoting from The Fountainhead: 'I would die for you. But I won't live for you." Something like that. I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it with other people. Maybe that's what makes people "participate".

Patrick started driving really fast, and just before we got to the tunnel, Sam stood up, and the wind turned her dress into ocean waves. When we hit the tunnel, all the sound got scooped up into a vacuum, and it was replaced by a song on the tape player. A beautiful song called "Landslide". When we got out the tunnel, Sam screamed this really fun scream, and there it was. Downtown. Lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder. Sam sat down and started laughing. Patrick started laughing. I started laughing. And in that moment, I swear we were infinite

And my all time favourite: After the song finished, I said something. "I feel infinite." (NOTE: I swear to god, if I ever get a tattoo, those words will be it. I’m dead serious.) And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I said the greatest thing they ever heard. Because the song was that great and because we all really paid attention to it. Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spent, and we felt young in a good way. I have since bought the record, and I would tell you what it is, but truthfully, it's not the same unless you're driving to your first real party, and you're sitting in the middle seat of a pickup with two nice people when it starts to rain.

From one wallflower to another, Charlie, I love you.

Mood Music: “Nights in White Satin” – The Moody Blues

Happy Mother Lovers Day!

2009-05-10T15:42:00.004-04:00

JT and Andy Samberg won't be getting their moms chocolates or flowers today. They'll be giving them each other (in bed)!

Sure, their present is a tad unconventional (and perhaps even a smidgen gross) but as they once said in lesser known song, the ladies need "something real" on their special occasions. It can be packaged up all classy with a store-bought bow and a box, but the sentiment has to come straight "from the heart". Or some other rather giving appendage.

Enjoy this tribute to MILFs this Mother's Day (but maybe without your mom). It's classic SNL (or is it Peg?).

Mood Music: "Dick in a Box" by Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg

A (Legally) Blonde moment..

2009-05-07T19:05:00.007-04:00

(Don't worry your poofy little head Linsday Weir! I am as shocked and embarassed by this injustice to girl power comedies as you are!)

You know you've seen Legally Blonde too many times when you start mentally correcting your professor's reference to an extremely random line from a secondary character from the movie.

I couldn't help but shake my head in shame on Tuesday when my (brunette) Psych prof claimed that Elle Wood's feminist classmate Enid (he of course, didn't use her name) tells Warner Huntington III she's petioning to get Harvard to stop using seminal, which comes from "semen", to the more feminine friendly "ova-ninal". She says she wants to change semester to ovaster not seminal to ova-ninal! Sheesh! They say blondes are the dumb ones, but clearly some brunettes need to brush up on their Reese Witherspoon comedies.

Mood Music: "Another Dumb Blonde" by Hoku

Confessions of a Rock Star groupie...

2009-05-07T00:36:00.007-04:00

You can argue with me until the end of time, but I will ALWAYS defend the awesomeness that is Rock Star. It's actually really entertaining - and often times even hilarious (Is that Marky Mark rapping again or am I daydreaming?) And the songs (oh the songs!) are way too amazing to belong to a fictional band. Oh, and Mark Wahlberg is a stone fox in it like usual.

If you're still not sold, watch this scene. It gives me goosebumps (and often times, a few tears) whenever I watch the movie. I totally lose it when Jennifer Aniston's character, Emily (You don't know how much my pre-teen self loved the fact that Marky Mark was repeatedly saying my name) starts to choke up. Perhaps I'm a cry baby but I love me a good reunion scene. Especially when it involves a very Eddie Vedder-esque character named Chris serenading a girl with my name with a particularly beautiful Verve Pipe song.

Chris sings, "I know I can be colorful. I know I can be grey. But this loser's living fortunate, cause I know you will love me either way." This line totally speaks to me. Because even though this movie isn't perfect, I will never stop loving it. (Cheesiness totally intended.)

Mood Music: "We All Die Young" by Steel Dragon

Throughly Mod-Cloth Emily..

2009-05-04T18:08:00.016-04:00

Last week, I entered Mod Cloth's "Just for Kicks" contest. The contest asked girls to come up with some witty names for a few new pairs of their shoes (Mod Cloth always come up with the cutest and most pop-culture filled names!). The girl with the most creative name would win the shoes in their size, along with their name associated with the shoe. I entered every day, just for fun (or kicks, if you will). But today I got an e-mail, telling me that I won one of the pairs of shoes!

I dubbed my winning kicks - a pair of bright blue sneaks with an orange and grey striped lining - The Honest to Blog Hi-Tops. I thought the stripes were very Juno-esque and so, I gave them a name which referenced one of the most quoted lines from Diablo Cody's kickass script (that woman is a god). Apparently, they liked my train of thinking. Here's what they had to say about my entry:

"The bright, fun sneakers from Day 2 demanded something equally effervescent. We loved Emily’s Juno reference in her winning name, Honest to Blog Hi -Tops!"

DO YA LOVE IT!?! (I feel a Sneakernight comin' on!)

P.S. - Check out their totally boss description of the kicks here.

Mood Music: "My Wandering Days Are Over" by Belle & Sebastian

Fictional boyfriend of the week: Jack Berger...

2009-05-04T00:14:00.013-04:00

As I was watching Office Space today (for the first time!), I realized that I am in love with Ron Livingston. His name might not ring-a-bell at first glance, but you know him. Just think Berger. Jack Berger.

Even though he dumped Miss Bradshaw via a Post-It, I still have a soft spot for Livingston's adorably awkward character (I just watched the episode where they meet again and he's trying to ride a motorcycle and doing a TERRIBLE job..).

Sure, he's not classy like Big. Or intriguingly pretentious like The Russian (I'm sorry, I just hated him). Or as sweet as Aiden. But he seems like the kind of guy I would totally be into (minus the whole lame break-up methods). I'm not sure what that says about me but whatevs, I could do worse. Remember that politician who wanted Carrie to pee on her? I'd take a Post-It over that ANY day.

I'm watching: Mystic Pizza

Sundays love..

2009-04-28T22:26:00.006-04:00

"Wild horses, we'll ride them someday..."

No matter how many times I hear it, that one line will never stop breaking my heart.

I have been in love with the song "Wild Horses" for as long as I can remember. Even though I practically worship anything The Stones touch, The Sundays' cover will always blow the original out of the water for me.

Perhaps it's because this version appeared in one of the most beautiful Angel/Buffy moments. Or maybe it's because it's featured prominetly in Fear, a Mark Wahlberg-Reese Witherspoon thriller from the 90s that really shouldn't have been a large part of my middle school life, but nevertheless was.

Either way, this cover is and will always be my favourite song of all time.

Mood Music: "The Road" by Jackson Browne

A cup o' Gilmore...

2009-04-28T18:02:00.008-04:00

I think I am in love.

Just the sight of this cup makes me want to go to one of Taylor's town meetings. Or make a pit-stop at Al's Pancake World. Or pigout on leftover Chinese and watch old movies. Or do an all-night dance-a-thon at Miss Patty's. Or go to Friday night dinner. Or grab an extremely large cup of coffee at Luke's. Rory! Lorelai! Get me to Stars Hollow, stat!

Mood Music: "Let Go" by Frou Frou

A simplier (kind of) life...

2009-04-25T22:09:00.005-04:00

I was browsing through some old No Doubt pics today and I stumbled upon this adorable shot of Gwen and Tony before things got messy (but ridiculously songworthy!). If this isn't proof that they NEED to get back together, then I don't know what is!

Screw Gavin! Gwen + Tony forever!

(I'm sorry, my fangirl tendencies overrule my sense of logic when it comes to these two. I love you, Gavin! Kinda.)

P.S. - I am so excited for the No Doubt reunion tour it's ridiculous. (As if you couldn't tell.)

Mood Music: "Magic's in the Makeup" by No Doubt